My Only Sunshine

Chapter 29 - Change of Heart

"So I waited many years, held back the pain behind my tears, for my father, to come find me like he said. And in that time I was alone, so many years without my home I made brothers of a different kind instead. And at the time I didn't know, just how hard the wind could blow toward disaster, and the things that I would see." - Greg Holden

Amelia had been going to and from, working for Zobelle and caring for the children in the evening, for just under two weeks when she finally found something. Zobelle has grown to trust her, leaving her alone at the shop sometimes for short periods of time, but she found what she needed at a time when he was merely twenty feet away.

Receipts, cancelled checks, and an official paper trail tying Zobelle to a west coast hate group wanted for various acts of violence. She couldn't smile. She couldn't feel excited or relieved all Amelia felt was confused and scared.

She took pictures of what she needed before shoving them back in the bottom drawer and sneaking out of the back office again before he saw she'd gotten passed the lock.

"Ethan," Amelia called out from the counter. "I have to run."

"What's wrong?" She heard his voice and the creaking of his steps before she saw him appear from the back hall.

"Uh, Thomas is sick," she lied. "Sorry, I have to go."

"Of course," he wore a small, friendly smile. "Hope he feels better soon," Zobelle said with a nod.

Amelia did go to pick Thomas up from Pre-K, on the off chance that she was being followed and didn't know it. Once she carried him into the house, he'd fallen asleep on the ride, she called the clubhouse and had Tig send Jax home immediately. Waiting impatiently, she sat on the floor beside Thomas' bed where he slept and gently combed his hair with her fingers.

"Are you okay?" Jax asked, rushing into the bedroom.

Amelia looked up and quickly shushed him. "We're okay," she assured him, "Sit."

That was even more ominous than the phone call and as he sat, Jax felt his stomach knot up.

"When you thought I was dead," she started, "Did you ever, even for a second, think of getting out? Taking the kids and going?"

Shamefully, Jax shook his head. "It made me dive in deeper," he admitted.

"Jackson," she sighed, "It's a miracle I'm here," Amelia whispered, "I had a bullet in my chest." Taking his hand she pressed his palm to the gnarly scar. "I can't do this anymore. I can't see things the way you do, I've tried for years and I did but now, it's all changed. It's not worth it."

"What are you saying?" He asked, looking into her eyes with desperation.

"I'm asking you to leave with me. I'm asking you to pick our family over SAMCRO. I won't keep our children here, I won't stay here, I can't," her voice cracked. "Please come with us," she whimpered. "Please, Jax."

Hanging his head, Jax covered his mouth with his palm and slowly began to shake his head. "Meely," he finally said, "I would do anything for you but I can't just up and go. I have to handle something first."

"Is it Zobelle?" She asked. "Who cares, this giant plan to get him, to make him pay, it's stupid. I don't care."

Jax shook his head. "It's not Zobelle," he admitted. "I just need time."

"I've given you my whole life," she cried. "I've given you, literally, over twenty years. I can't give you anymore, Jax."

"You're right," he sighed. "Do what you gotta do, babe, tell me when, I'll be ready."

--

Much later that night, Jax left his family and drove straight out of Charming. He waited, casually smoking a cigarette, watching the traffic on the highway a short ways away from where he paced. When a car approached Jax stopped in his tracks and flicked his cigarette away.

"You're late," he said as Kincaid got out of his sedan.

"We all have personal lives," he said, "I got held up. What's this about?"

"There's nothing on Zobelle, not that we could see," he shrugged. "I'm out. I can't help you."

Kincaid was truly shocked. "You don't want to make him pay for what he did?"

"The only next step is killing him," Jax said coolly. "He lost Claire, his right hand man is dead; he's paid." Jax didn't fully believe it but he knew he had to accept it.

Kincaid's forehead creased as he looked at Jax. "Where's this coming from? You agreed to help, we have you your wife, and your life, back. I assured you no one would know; not your club, not Amelia. Why are you suddenly going back on the deal?"

"I don't care about Zobelle." Jax said forcefully. "I care about my wife and my kids. I only agreed to help cause you blinded me with grief, you threatened me, you played a game that I fell for it. I'm out, man. I'm done."

"You're willing to risk your family? Risk everything you just got back and let Zobelle go?"

Jax glared at Kincaid shook his head. "I can feel how personal this is for you. I don't know what Zobelle did to you, I'm sorry for whatever he did, but if you come after my wife again, threaten her or hurt her, you're gonna feel how personal this is for me."

Nonplussed, Kincaid nodded. "I'll give you time to reconsider," Kincaid said as he got back in his car. "I think you'll find I can drive a hard bargain."

He backed out and drove off leaving Jax angry but, even more so, confused. There had to be more than Kincaid was sharing, more fueling his seemingly incessant investigation of Zobelle, or else why would he feel so strongly. What made it so personal for this agent that he was willing to fake a death and threaten Jax to take down Ethan Zobelle.