The Runaways

Chapter 38: Cathlina

A wave of shock passes through me as I hear the words Violet is telling me.  I’m confused.  Caleb should still be inside, probably training or taking a class.

          But he’s fairly new here, I remind myself.  He’s only stayed here for a week.  He probably doesn’t know what to do or where to go.  Maybe should be doing the leader’s job instead of standing here talking to Kasen.  I haven’t been responsible.

          “What do you mean?  Have you checked outside?” I ask, unsure of what to do.

          She nods and I see tears beginning to well up in her eyes.  For the past few days, Caleb’s been her only friend.  He understands her strange personalities that come out to tell her what to do more than anyone else.  I don’t know how to help her.  He’s the only one able to stop them from driving her insane.

          I make a quick decision.  “Kasen, I need you to take Violet to her room.  I’ll check for Caleb.  If I need help, I’ll call you on this.”  I press a little metal pin into his hand.

          He looks at it in confusion.  “What is it?”

          “It’s like a walkie-talkie.  Just take her to her room and stay with her until I come back.  If you have any problems just press on it to talk.  Got it?” I explain.

          He nods.  “Okay.  I’ve got it.”  He doesn’t look too sure about it.  I disregard his look of distress.

           I turn to Violet and say, “Don’t worry about Caleb.  I will find him.  Just listen to Kasen, okay?”

          She makes a sour face, glances at Kasen, and then looks back to me.  “You trust him?” she whispers harshly.

          I nod.  “Yes.  And you should, too.  Just go with him so I can find Caleb.  It’ll only be for a little bit, I promise.”

          At this moment, her huge pleading eyes make her look a lot younger, like she’s ten instead of fifteen or sixteen.

          I sigh.  “Just try, okay?”

          I turn to Kasen one last time.  “Try not to be hard on her.  She’s not exactly stable.”

          He raises an eyebrow.  “What do you mean?”

          Before I say anything, I look back at Violet, and then I turn to Kasen again.  I take his arm and lead him to my room down the hall.  I tell Violet to stay in Kasen’s room until I come back.  She nods.

          I get to my room and explain to him the state of Violet’s sanity.  It takes Kasen a bit to respond.  When he does, his voice sounds shaky and scared.

          “So, is she schizophrenic?” he asks.

          I shrug.  “That’s what I’ve been wondering.  Just go easy on her.  Is she starts to hear her emotions talking to her, just call me, okay?  Don’t worry about it.”

          “I won’t worry about her.  So you shouldn’t worry about me, either,” he tells me.

          “Just–” I begin.

          “It’ll be fine, okay?” he says, and his voice has a bit of assertiveness to it.

          I nod, and I’m about to leave, but I feel him come closer and wrap his arms around my frail shoulders.

          I don’t know if I should attack or yell or kick or just accept it and return the action.  All I can think to do it stand there, stiff as a board while his warm presence envelops me, immobilizing me.  I feel his hand pick at a strand of hair that has stuck itself to my jacket.

          I am completely in shock, not just because this boy who has a girlfriend is being affectionate toward me, but because he is so close and I find I’m not as uncomfortable as I expected.  The thing I feel is different from Trenton’s attempts of romance with me.  I’m not sure how to place it.

          I quickly shake the thoughts from my head.  I barely even know Kasen.  And he has a girlfriend.  I should be repulsed by this.  I should be pushing him away like I do to Trenton.

          I don’t realize I’ve been holding my breath and pursing my lips until I can barely breathe and my lips hurt.

          As quickly as he flung his arms around me, he pulls them away.  He looks down slightly to meet my eyes.  He doesn’t step away as I expect he will.  Instead, he holds my arms still in his hands and says two simple words softly spoken, “Be careful.”

          I can’t help but stare back at him and whisper, “I will.”

          Just like that, he lets me free and exits the room, making me feel overwhelmed and lightheaded.  I’m confused.

          I fling myself on my bed and I stare at the ceiling, watching nothing but my thoughts dancing across my brain and make their way to the white slate I’m staring at.