Searching for a Myth

Saved

Warning- If you get easily triggered by suicide or the mention of suicide, please skip this chapter, you have been warned, thanks.

Ian's POV-

She's dead. She's actually dead. She's gone, forever. I haven't been able to face society since she passed, I'm nothing without her, my little sister was the most important thing in the world, and I failed to save her.

Between you and me, I've been cutting for the past couple of days, I feel like I need to take in pain for all of the pain she never deserved. I pull up the sleeve of my sweatshirt to reveal cut marks, their really is lots.

Living without her is the hardest thing I've ever done, I just can't take it anymore. I push myself off my grey toned bed before walking into the restroom, thank god Devin and Isabelle left.

I creak open the door, slipping in the room before locking it shut. Today's the day, the day where I end my life.

I pick up the stool I know Devin and Isabelle don't use, and I step on it so I can open the top cabinet they don't even know exists.

I creak it open, and see the knife and small black gun I stashed in there. I pick up the black gun before shutting the cabinet and slidding the stool back where it was.

I open the cabinet we have, seeing the ammo in their. I load it in my gun, and stare at myself in the mirror. I don't see myself. I see a monster, who let his sister perish in-front of him, who didn't; who couldn't save her. I bring the gun up to my head, lightly pressing it into my temple.

I clench my eyes shut, biting my lip as my finger rests on the trigger, I begin to pull it before the door gets knocked down, as well as the gun in my hand.

"IAN WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!" I glare to see Lavina.

I say, picking up the gun, "Doing what should of been done when Amber died, she should of lived! I'm worthless! I SHOULD OF BEEN BURIED IN HELL AND TREATED LIKE A SLAVE, I DON'T DESERVE TO BE FREE LAVINA!"

She snatches the gun from my hand, throwing it into the mirror, the glass shards fall, scratching the floor.

She yanks my arm, "What's that!"

I try to hide the cuts, "Nothing."

She uses her great force against me, using my middle name, which I almost forgot from how little I hear it, "IAN OLIVER BLACK!"

I bury my head in my chest, "I needed to take at least a fraction of the pain she did."

Lavina sighs, wrapping her arms around me, "No you didn't."

I sigh, letting one tear slip down my face, "Yes, yes I did."

She sighed, letting go of me before gripping onto my shoulders, forcing me to look at her, "Lets visit her."

I mumble, "I was trying to."

She sighs, gripping on my wrist, "No, I mean actually visit her on earth."

"I'm going to break down."

She smiles weakly, "That's okay."

We walk down in silence, she practically drags me the entire way down. I always forget that she's gone through this to, I mean when Lily died that probably hit her just as hard as Amber hit me. Death is such a cruel thing, it ruins us, it changes us, it kills us, it destroys us.

We finally get down to the District 13 graveyard, which is at the very bottom floor of the building, dedicated for the living to honor the dead.

We walk into the room, it's vacant of people, just sad looking graves. Lavina clenches onto my wrist tighter as she searches through, looking for the stone that says the name of my baby sister.