Princess Can Fight |✓

Chapter 27: Talking won't fix this

"Are you okay?"

I bit my lip and nodded. He had been in the room with Austin for nearly half an hour. I couldn't convince myself to peek in. I knew it was something only Brad could've helped him through.

Brad thought I was the right person for the job but I couldn't have gone inside and spent all that time with him without breaking down into tears myself. I knew that. I knew I cared about Austin more than I cared to admit-- it had been made clear to me now. I couldn't watch him cry, it was almost just as hard as watching Brad cry. Almost.

"Austin's getting ready to leave, he understands what this means, I just wish this never--"

"I'm sorry." I blurted. He had to believe that I felt guilty. I needed him to be weak around me. It's awful. It's something I wish I didn't have to do but I do. But it's the only way I'll be able to manipulate him when I have to. I need to be able to control him. 

Wow, I sound evil. I guess that's another thing checked off my bucket list.

Another thing I wish I didn't have to do was take advantage of Austin's current state of mind.

When he was at his weakest. No matter how he takes it, it will affect him and although I wish this never happened, I have to use the situation to my advantage.

Now, I really sound like a jerk.

"Izabelle, this-- this shouldn't have happened. But you have nothing to be sorry about, okay? This is my fault. I'm going to go get the car, tell Austin his sisters are safe and bring him out in a few minutes, yeah?" He held my shoulders.

I nodded and as he started to leave, I whispered in the softest, weakest voice I could muster, "Brad, it's not your fault," if anything, this would make it harder on him. Knowing that nobody's going to accept his guilt because he shouldn't even have it. Knowing that I wouldn't accept it. It's going to eat him up.

Watching him be happy was an absolute pleasure but happy Brad was not what I needed anymore.

I hated watching either of them cry but when they were vulnerable, they basically melted at the mere sound of my shaky breath. All I had to do now was successfully convince them that they were in control. And I think I've been doing a great job with Brad so far. I just had to keep doing this until all of this was over. It was the only way I was ever going to get any answers when I wanted them.

"Austin." I knocked on the door.

"Ditching the bloody clothes!" He called out sounding surprisingly normal?

"Austin, may I come in?"

"Sure you want to be in the same room as the guy who basically killed his mother?" Ohkay? What?

"It's not your fault."

"Says the girl who still blames herself for leaving out a bottle of fucking sleeping pills! If you can beat yourself about Cindy, I think I can blame myself for this." Cindy. Gosh she'd hate the person I've become-- hell I'm not even fond of the person I've turned into.

Less than twenty four hours ago I actually had a heart-- and that seems so bloody unrealistic to me right now.

I guess this is how Brad felt all the time? Empty? But at the same time full of shit?

"Austin, you couldn't have done anything--"

He opened the door and pulled me inside-- ouch! Instantly, hitting my body against the closed door.

"You really want to know why I feel this way?" He was holding the collar of my jacket.

I gulped hard and nodded.