Lost Tapes ♡ h.s.

Tape 6.2

April 28th 2014, 12:39am

                                                         A loud scream escaped Harry's mouth because the tape had just stopped. Clarissa's voice disappeared and all he heard right now was the cold wind blowing around him. Harry fast-forwarded the tape, in hopes he could hear the rest now, but it stopped right before she would have started with the reasons.

 Even more tears were rolling down his cheeks now. He needed to know why he had a tape dedicated to him, how much he had affected her decision to leave everyone and everything behind her.

 Here, hidden in the forest, Harry allowed himself to let out a sob, a desperate and helpless sob. His pink bottom lip was trembling and his teeth were chattering. It had stopped raining and now a cold wind was blowing against his soaking wet clothes, making his teeth chatter even louder. A shiver ran down his spine.

 With the tape in one hand and the Walkman in the other hand, he stared at the two items. Did she plan this? Was it her plan to not end the tape, to leave Harry clueless on what he did to her? Or is it some sort of a strange metaphor that Harry didn't understand? Was her intention to tell Harry that he always left everything undone? And that Harry has left her as half done as everything else?

 It would have been true, if that had been her intention. Whenever Harry started a thing he was hooked in it, stayed up all night for this thing and spent every minute on it but shortly before it was finished he left it alone. Harry always lost interest in things as soon as they were close to being finished.

 Did Clarissa hate him for that? She had been someone who stayed in his life longer than anyone else before. He had never lost his interest in her so he always knew she was special. Clary was still special to him and no one was ever going to be as mesmerizing, confusing and caring like her. He had never met someone with such a big heart before, someone who had welcomed him no matter what time it was, someone who didn't judge him by his tattoos, piercings and behaviour.

 Harry had loved Clarissa, he had loved her with all of his heart and he still did. Maybe he was only eighteen years old but that had never stopped him from falling for her. He hadn't seen the world yet but he didn't need to because his world was always directly in front of him when he'd looked at Clarissa.

 All of a sudden an idea appeared in his head and he turned the tape around, so the other side of the tape was being played. Maybe Harry left everything unfinished but Clarissa never did. When she started something, she always brought it to the end.

 "Gotcha! Did you really think I would not finish this tape? I'm not you, Harry. We are somewhat different, yet we have so many things in common, it's crazy, isn't it? I think it is.

 It took me a minute to figure out why I couldn't record myself anymore. You probably needed longer. I know you. Anyway, I wanted to tell you why you're getting a tape.

 Do you want me to start right away? Or first dig a bit more in our memories? I better leave it, right? You probably already suffer enough. So, well...I think we should get started.

 You know, this tape is the hardest to record. Talking about my parents or about myself wasn't hard for me, not as difficult as I thought it would be. But talking about you is difficult. It is difficult for a few reason that I can't tell you because it is impossible to explain.

 But I can explain, or at least I can try, why you are on my list.

 I've put you as my number five because you were the only one who's always been there. Even when we weren't a couple, even when I was mad at you, you never left me and you were always willing to fight everyone who wanted to harm me.