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Song: These Broken Hands Of Mine- Joe Brooks
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"Ryan, chill... everything's going to be fine." I tried to calm him down because he's panicking.
Today is his wedding with Tony. Isang taon nilang pinaghandaan ang kasal na ito at masasabi kong maganda talaga ang kinalabasan.
Bumalik muli siya sa salamin upang tingnan ang sarili.
"Do I really look okay?" he asked.
"You are stunning. You don't need to worry. Okay?"
He sighed. Tiningnan niyang muli ang kanyang itsura sa salamin. Then he turns to me again. Nagaalala siyang tumingin sa akin.
"Is it normal to get nervous on your wedding day?"
Nagkibit ako ng balikat dahil hindi ko alam ang isasagot.
"I don't know! I'm not yet married!"
Inirapan niya ako. He fanned himself, halatang ninenerbyos para sa kasal niya ngayon. We came back to New York after two months of staying in the Philippines. Kasama ko sila nang bumalik kami dito.
Zach and I... are still not together.
Hindi ko na rin siya nakakausap. He really did what I asked him to do and somewhat I'm grateful for that. I hope he's doing well.
Last week, I read an article that features Zach. May kasama siyang babae doon sa picture na iyon at mukhang nasa party. Sabi doon sa article, bali balita raw na ito na ang bago niyang dinedate.
I smiled a little at that article. At least... he can be with the girl he no longer need to fix.
Pero hindi ko rin maidedeny na nasaktan ako nang nakita ko iyon. I knew that he's going to find someone else. That's not impossible for a guy like him. Girls actually line up for him.
It's been ten months since I learned that I'm an illegitimate child. It's also been ten months since Zach and I broke up.
Naging regular na rin ang pag-uusap namin ni Daddy ng patago. Naiintindihan ko naman kung bakit niya ginagawa iyon. Ang sabi niya, kapag nalaman nila na nagkikita o nag-uusap kami, baka kung anong gawin nila sa akin. Lalo na si Ate Isabella.
Alam mo naman 'yun... ang sabi nga ni Ryan, wala na daw iyon magawa sa buhay.
Now, I can say that I'm finally okay... I've never been better. I felt relieved since my father told me everything. I felt... alive again.
When I said that I will never be okay... I lied. I proved myself wrong. After all, I can be okay. I can feel alive again. Because I learned that no one can save us from this pain but ourselves. I can't remain unsaved... I need to save myself.
