hurt

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RILEY MATTHEWS

i put my black heels on and looked at myself in the mirror. I didn't even bother doing my makeup knowing it would be gone by the end of the night.

I felt as if something was off, like I was missing something. I looked to my right, where my dresser was. I grabbed the corsage Leo got me and slid it on my wrist.

there was a knock on my bedroom door. It opened slowly. I looked to see my mom. "Are you ready for the funeral?"

"no." I replied quietly "I wouldn't be ready even in a million years."

"Riley you've been so quiet lately, when will I get my daughter back." she put her hand on my shoulder as I looked in the mirror.

"when the hurt is over." I pushed her hand off me.

• • •

We got out of the car and I looked at all the people in their black attire. My eyes searched through to find Farkle, I assumed he was already inside.

I looked over at auggie, i think it was his first funeral. He was quiet I think a little nervous.

I haven't seen Farkle since the day he slept over, which was about three days ago. I just wanted to hug his parents and him.

We walked inside the funeral home, and I saw Farkle talking to two adults. He looked over at me and just quickly walked over and we hugged.

I looked at the people he was talking to and they were looking at us sweetly. He pulled away from the hug and looked me in the eyes. "how are you now?"

"I'm actually better, I've stopped crying." I replied with all I could. My voice was weak. "How are you?" I set my hand on his forearm.

"better I changed my perspective on it, so that helps." He smiled a little, which was a relief.

"Hey guys." Lucas said with Maya under his arm. I smiled at them.

"Hey, thanks for coming." Farkle said a bit awkwardly. I could tell it was hard for him to talk about still but it wasn't as bad.

"anything for you, bro." Lucas smiled.

I looked past Lucas to see Jennifer and Stuart. "I'll be right back" I said before walking over to the parents.

"Hello Riley." Stuart said with a small smile at the end of his sentence, I smiled also.

"how are you two?" I asked lightly resting my hand on Jennifers shoulder.

"it gets better everyday. I know Leo would want us to live our lives and not be stuck in one spot." Jen tried to keep it together.

"well just so you guys know, I'm here for your family every step of the way." I smiled and Jen did too.

"you're honestly the daughter I always wanted." Jen hugged me.

• • •

I watched as Farkle put a flower on the coffin. We were at the burial now, so that means it's pretty much over.

it was hard for me to let go of something that wasn't coming back.

I looked to my left at auggie, he was crying. It was a sad scene but I had nothing left to cry. Every time I wanted to cry I would pinch myself.

I reached for auggies hand and he held mine.

"it's alright auggie." I whispered to him and he wiped away his tears.

Once this was finished most people left, even my parents and brother. I decided to stay with Farkle.

"you know Neal is over there waiting?" I said as I walked up beside him. He kept his gaze locked on the coffin.

"yeah." He replied in a numb way. "I just can't believe he's-" he cut himself off and didn't finish. I knew he didn't want to say the word.

"me either." I replied and he remained silent. It was hard for him so I decided to just say my goodbyes. "I'll see you around." I said as I walked away, the snow making a crunch as I did.

I got into my car and my dad drove us home.

my phone was ringing so I answered.

"Riley can you please send me the answers to the English homework?" Maya Asked and I agreed before hanging up.

I grabbed my laptop and opened it.

I totally forgot about the video I uploaded. I quickly refreshed the tab and the video ended up having 700k. My heart started to beat quickly. I copy and pasted the link to maya and she spammed me.

holy crap.

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