Her Diary ✅

~one~

3rd January 1988

Never be afraid of change. You may lose something good but you may gain something even better. - Unknown.

Dear Diary,

New diary, new year - the family tradition continues.

I'm unsure where to start...

My Christmas break was as torturous as ever but I'm glad to be back home. Yes, home. Yale is my home not that other place with controlling parents, debutant gowns and talks of yachts and trust funds. I am only just working out what I want from college, what I want from my life, but I already knew along time ago that I want everything far away from them.

Lucas is cheating on me. He won't come out and say it but it is blindingly obvious. He seemed torn during the time we spent together and he was waiting by the telephone at his parents' house in case the call was for him. I'm not sure for how long it has been going on but I'm positive he is. What is really depressing is I can't blame him. He picked Princeton I picked Yale. When I say picked of course I was the only one out of the two of us with the choice. Lucas was only accepted to Princeton. So I did this, I chose for us, for our relationship. I chose to put the distance between us, granted only 149 miles but distance nonetheless.

Maybe if he finally gets the balls to actually break up with me my mother will stop picking out China patterns. It is bad enough I attended four debutant balls and two cotillions with him. My mother has been waiting since the day we graduated high school for Lucas to propose to me.

If only she wasn't so focused on my love life and social standing she could realise that I'm not studying literature like a good little rich girl but actually anthropology.

Change. It won't happen unless you make it.

Always, P

Jane looks up from the diary her subconscious had pulled her in to and around at her surroundings. The stacks are still in their normal place. Most of the books are still covered with a thick layer of dust and as normal it is quiet but not 'serial killer' quiet.

Jane isn't sure what a book like this is even doing here hidden underneath a shelf of books about Ancanthopholis.

Whatever the hell that is...

It took four months, six parks, twenty-one trees, fourteen libraries and eleven footballs to the head but Jane finally found it, the ultimate study spot.

Sterling Memorial Library, the twelfth floor in the back corner where the stacks reach the ceiling and the books have obscure titles.

Sure, Yale have actual designated study areas but none of these worked for Jane. It was either too quiet like eerily so or there is an air conditioner vent in an awkward place.

Jane had been making herself comfortable in her ultimate study spot when the small black leather bound book grabbed her attention.

The first entry was on the third of January close to thirty years ago and from a quick glance it looked as though the book had roughly a thousand pages, though not all had writing on them, and 'P' documented her time at Yale.

This confused Jane.

Who was P?

Why did she leave her diary here?

Is she looking for it?

Pushing her criminal law textbook aside Jane turns to the next entry.