all of the stars.

vivian's eyes seemed to slowly drop, her fingers were on her window, connecting the stars that she saw up above. she was slowly falling asleep but she tried her best to stay awake. ashton was coming soon and she didn't want to miss him even if she knows she will when the morning comes..

"viv.." a faint whisper made vivian turn around, and there was the guy who swarmed her stomach with butterflies, and only butterflies because they were very gentle just like ashton.

"ashton, you came." she pushed herself off of the window seat, before her body ever so gently collided with his, her arms flung onto him and around his neck while his arms were wrapped around her frail figure.

"why wouldn't i?"

"they told me you've gone. that you left me." a terrified vivian whispered close to his ear and he couldn't help but close his eyes, trying to refrain the tears from falling, he's the only strength she has left. the thought of him was.

"i'll never leave you. i promised you right?" and all vivian did was nod. that was enough for her to feel safe and contented. she was in his arms, what more could she ask for.

"you know the stars shine extra bright tonight. you saw the stars right?" this time, ashton was the one to nod. i know cause that's where i've been.

in silence, ashton took her hand and led her out the house and onto their backyard.

"where are we going ash?" vivian's eyebrows met, looking at the boy who had a glow like an angel under the moon light.

"our secret place."

"i can't. remember? i woke up there and my mom got worried. so she told me to never go back there. she told me something about how it's bad for me. how it reminds me of you." and ashton felt a queer sting in his heart.

"but what's so bad about the things and places that remind me of you?" her hands played with his fingers.

"i don't know." ashton swallowed the lump on his throat, his back faced her, but his hand was still intertwined with hers, both of them holding on to each other tightly.

"but.. just come with me? this... this might be the last time we'll ever go there." together , ashton added in his mind, desperately wanting to say that but he couldn't bring himself to do it.

both of them ventured out her backyard and on to the empty field they used to go to ever since they were young. everything felt perfect for vivian. the moment made her feel infinite.

ashton let go of her hand before slowly laying down on the green grass, and staring up at the stars while vivian mirrored his actions, but her feet were on the other side and she laid her head on the space beside ashton's head.

"you're right. the stars shine extra bright tonight." ashton slightly turns his head to the right, facing vivian who still had her eyes glued on the stars.

"told you... you know, if you weren't here with me, i'd mistaken you as one of those stars."

"why is that?"

"because you shine bright as them."

"i love you, viv." he sighs and closes his eyes. she looked at him, her cheeks tinted pink and a smile was on her face but it slowly faded when she heard him sigh, she bit her lip and scooted closer, her head fit perfectly between his head and his shoulder, it was the same for him.

"i love you, ash." her lips planted a gentle kiss on his nose, leaving ashton with a tingling feeling but it felt good. it relieved him.

silenced surrounded them, their breathing was the only evident sound that can be heard. they stayed in the same position with ashton's eyes closed, his hand was on vivian's other cheek, while vivian's hand was on top of his, her free hand was laying on top of her stomach.

"everything feels so perfect. peaceful."

"not for long." he says under his breath but due to the close proximity, vivian heard him.

"why not?" and this was the time vivian felt tears sting the corners of her eyes. there was a fine line between being oblivious and being someone who cannot accept a fact. vivian knew what was coming and she wished that she didn't.

ashton never answered her and left her half confused for a few minutes before he laid on his side, facing the beauty that laid with him.

"you know how you told me, i shine bright as the stars?" he ran his fingers through her hair, hopefully soothing her. she gave him a slight nod but never faced him, too scared to let go the tears that she's been holding back.

"well, when you're feeling lonely or if everything does not feel perfect, peaceful. look at the stars then maybe they'll remind you of me." he says softly, and vivian knew he meant the "if everything does not feel perfect" part, it's because she thought of everything as perfect, only if he was there with her. no matter what the situation was or where they were.

"but what if it's day time?"

"then look at the sky. stars do glow during day time, you just can't see them because of the glare of the sunlight. i'll be like the stars, even if everything's crumbling under your feet. even if you let your fears and loneliness overpower the thought of me. by the end of the day, i'll still shine bright, hopefully, giving you the light you need."

those were the last words vivian heard escape ashton's lips before her whole world turned black and felt herself slowly fall into a deep slumber.

✯

"you've been to the field again?" wilma, vivian's mother, scolded her the minute she enters their house from the back door. it was obvious because her scruffy hair with bits of grass in them gave the clues away.

"i'm sorry mum, i just had to be with ashton again." she tried her best to explain but her mother just looked at her with pity in her eyes, an uneven sigh escaped her lips.

her mother started to walk towards her before picking the grass bits from her hair. she held her daughter's shoulders, looking in her pained eyes.

"i'm so sorry you have to go through this, vivian." wilma told her trying to catch the gaze of her eyes as she looked down and this time, the tears she's been holding back fell from her eyes.

hearing the familiar phrase her mother's been planting in her head for the past month now, "but you have to move on and accept that ashton's gone, darling."

"he's just a product of your imagination now. ashton's gone."