Teen Vamp

Chapter 8 - Nerf Herder

***DEREK***

"WHAT THE FUCK?"

That's all I can say when I return home, go into my room, and find Hunter and Stiles on my bed, cuddling. Naked. At least I get out coherent words, which is more than I can say for Skylar. But then again, one of the bare asses she sees belongs to her blood relative, so her string of disgusted dry-heaves is justified.

I only turn around when I'm sure the boys are done scrambling for cover, or at least putting on their underwear so I don't have to see anything completely unnecessary. Hunter, who's probably more scared of me because he hasn't known me as long as Stiles has, runs past me, only for Skylar to start tongue-lashing him furiously.

Me, I step over the threshold and close my door so I can confront Stiles myself. The first thing I tell him is, "You've got a little something on your..." I point to my neck, and Stiles rubs his where something a little thicker than sweat glistens even against his pale skin.

He snickers and rubs it away with a tissue from my bedside table. Funny, I never used to have tissue boxes there. More of Skylar's influence, I guess. "At least I didn't swallow," he says wryly.

"That's what you think I'm most concerned about?" I growl. "I mean, good for you that you're not fluid-bonding, but...my bed. My goddamn bed." I lean back against the wall, then slide down until I'm sitting on the floor. "Why?"

"Look," Stiles says as he tugs his shirt over his head. Finally, he's fully clothed again. "I was kinda going out of my mind there. Hunter helped me stay sane for a moment."

"So you 'stayed sane'" - I can't believe I just threw air quotes at him - "by screwing in my bed."

"Technically, we didn't screw, we suck-"

"I don't wanna know!"

"The point," Stiles says huffily, "is that I'm in a better frame of mind right now."

I stand up again, but cross my arms. "Why, 'cause you're not a virgin anymore? Doesn't make you more of a man."

"I didn't say that."

"Nah, but you were thinking it, weren't you? Everyone does as a teenager. Trust me, in hindsight, you'll know better."

Stiles snickers. "It's so weird when you're the one acting like such a dad."

"Be glad it's not your actual dad who caught you." Or Hunter's, I think. Something tells me that while the Sheriff's potential reaction would be more born from plain old parental concern, someone as despicable as Thomas Renard would be all too likely to be a bigot to his own kid just because he can.

"He wouldn't, 'cause I would've done it in my own bed if we were at my place."

"So?" I scoff. "Maybe he wouldn't have walked into your room, but he would've heard you, and probably pounded on your door to stop the..." I make myself shut up because I really don't want to fill my head with the thoughts with which Stiles really wants to incept me and wreck all my focus. Not when there's so much riding on our next course of action.

Which is...God, do I even remember anymore? That's what I get for having my brain totally scrambled for seeing things no one was meant to know.

Then I remember another thing no one was meant to know - the unspeakable actions a certain someone endorsed, setting in motion the chain of events leading to Stiles being a semi-vampire. "Deucalion."

Stiles visibly stiffens and grows even more pale, if that were even possible. "What about him?"

"We think he's working with Thomas Renard."

"You're probably right."

My eye twitches. "What are you...what do you mean? Did...did Hunter say anything?"

"What, when I was kissing him? Or when I was playing with his ear tufts? Or..." He stops when I start glowering at him, and my eyes start glowing too. "No," he says after a long moment of silence, and only after I tamp down that glow. "No, Hunter hasn't said anything. He doesn't talk about his dad much. No surprise there."

"So you're just agreeing with my hunch?"

"It's a good one."

"Hmm." I reach for the doorknob, but hesitate before opening the door. "Whatever happened to the contrarian Stiles we all know and love?"

"I'm sarcastic, not a contrarian."

"Exactly." As much as I don't want to, I find myself smiling at the kid. "You just proved my point. Now if you're ready to put your mind to more constructive purposes-"

"Just 'cause I'm not having sex for reproduction-"

"-follow me and we'll hash this shit out."

"With actual hash, I hope?"

I finally open the door and usher Stiles out. "No, unless you cooked my corned beef into your rice and beans?"

Stiles opens his mouth as if to ask how I know he cooked my food, but then stops himself because he knows what a stupid question that would be.

Hunter, however, pipes up, "I wanted to, but this scruffy-headed nerf herder insisted he wasn't ready for raw meat yet."

Skylar and Stiles look scarily identical in their facepalms and headshakes.