Never let me go

8: The first victory

Trost District Year 850 - Right flank of the middle guard:

Iris felt a chill run through her as her dark blue eyes met Bertholdt's warm brown ones. The daggers dug deep into her back, twisting, burning. What was that expression on his face? It looked like a kind of... guilt. But no, that was a stupid thought. Either way she had no time to figure out where this uneasy feeling came from. It was just Bert, gentle, harmless Bertholdt who would usually mumble slightly when speaking to her, and avoid looking her in the eye altogether.

She looked to Jean, still slumped on the ground and no doubt contemplating his life choices.

"Jean," she called to him, "what do we do now?" He grumbled and turned to her.

"You keep asking me that today. Like I'd know more than any of you. Damn it, all I wanted was just one more day of peace." he looked tired, as if he hadn't slept in ages and was at his wits end. But Iris would not relent.

"You brought us here. Now we know what happened on the right flank. What do we do now?" she left Reiner's side and felt him grab for her arm as if to hold her back, but then he let her go. She went to Jean, and nudged him in the side with the toe of her boot, making him hiss like an angry snake.

"Stop that!" he pushed her boot away before throwing a mournful look towards HQ where the titans were swarming. "We can't climb the damned wall without replenishing our supplies. The chances of us being rescued before we are all eaten are slim, especially with the damned survey corps gone... So our only option is to die here, or to rush to HQ and just ignore any titans we can on the way there." he concluded grimly. He'd always had an air of arrogance about him, like he knew the secret to this life and the rest of them were just bumbling idiots. But all that was gone now; he'd turned into yet another boy who'd seen more than he should have. Who had done things, and made decisions no fifteen year old should have to. And he was not done making them yet.

"Then let's storm HQ." She concluded. He gave her a spiteful look.

"All of us would have to go together, and everyone wouldn't make it. People would die. Are you about to ask them to do that?"

"No," she stared him down, "you are." Jean looked like he was about to protest, but she silenced him by saying; "Your plan is the only one we have that gives some of us a good chance to survive."

That's when Mikasa stepped forward, raised her blade into the air and proclaimed:

"I am strong, stronger than all of you. Extremely strong. I'll kill all those titans by myself if I have to. You incompetent, spineless, pathetic bastards can just sit back and watch me while you suck on your fingers. Do it."

Iris felt herself tune out to the rest. Mikasa was extremely strong, but compared to her Iris felt almost socially competent. No one would feel encouraged by that little speech. Being called pathetic didn't really rouse anyone's will to fight, or light the fire in their bellies. She stared down at Jean.

"This bristly porcupine will know how to rile them." she kicked him in the side. He shot her one venomous look, and rose to his feet.

"As far as speeches go, that was quite pathetic," he muttered. Then he added; "Eren, this is your fault." He turned, put his blade up and called out to the gathered squads.

"Hey, did they teach us to let our comrades fight alone?! Are we all spineless cowards who will shame ourselves?" he bellowed. Behind them soldiers turned their way. Wide, frightened eyes fixed upon Jean where he stood, brash, annoying and braver most of them. She could see them rising, slowly, silently, but they rose. She locked eyes with Reiner as she drew her blades. His behaviour today had left a lump of uneasiness rumbling around in her stomach. There was definitely something going on within him, be it stress or something else, and he seemed determined to keep to himself. He looked like he wanted to say something to her, but at that moment Jean grappled off the roof, and around them others followed. So she gave Reiner one last look, twisted her face into a weak smile, winked; then she turned and followed behind Jean.