Living or Surviving?

Chapter 51

*1 and a half months later*
•Mason's P.O.V•

Today is Megan's birthday celebration and I know I will see Jess. My sister told me she wanted her to come, and as much as I know it will hurt, I want to see her too. I haven't seen her in weeks, and it is killing me.

I'm driving to this fucking expensive restaurant when she is hosting the party, and my hands are shaking. This is ridiculous. I am ridiculous.

I walk inside the place to the room she has reserved for the party; it is a big room with many round tables, a little stage and a dance floor, like a wedding salon, decorated with weird shit and glitter.

The room is full of people, but Jess isn't here. I don't have to look carefully, I just know she is not here because my eyes don't go straight to her, I don't feel the crazy body attraction and sexual tension that I always feel when she is around.

I spot my sister talking to a group of people and I join her quickly.

"Mace!" She walks to me and gives me a warm hug.

"Hey, happy birthday" I try to sound chill, but she knows I am fucking trembling inside.

"Mom and dad aren't coming"

"Whatever" I thought they would come, so these are good news, not that I give a fuck about them, but I'd rather not see them.

"She isn't here yet" she says trying to calm my nerves.

"I know"

"Megan, won't you introduce us?" A tall blonde girl asks my sister.

"Oh sure, this is my brother Mason" she points at me and the girl smiles "Mason, these are my friends Maddie, Lisa and Stephanie"

"What's up"
Stephanie, the one who asked Megan to introduce us, keeps checking me out.

"I'll go have something to eat, see you later" I tell Megan and walk away.

I sit on a table at the back, where I can still see the door. I really want to see Jess, but at the same time I don't because I know how painful it is going to be.

After a while talking to the people on my table; three guys from Megan's debate team and two girls from her dance class, she walks in.

My jaw almost drops when I see her; she looks perfect. She is wearing a short tight pink dress that enhances her curves, white sandals, and her hair is up on a low bun, sort of the way she wears it when she is at home.

She walks in smiling, and her perfect teeth light up the whole room, or at least that is how it seems to me.
She waves at Logan and hugs him... I never imagined I could say this, but I'd give anything to be that dude now.
Her green eyes shine in the room, and people look at her as she walks to the table where Logan is guiding her, far from me.

She hasn't seen me yet, and I hope she doesn't see me at all, that will be easier.

The waiters serve us some food, and I no longer pay attention to the conversation being held in my table, I only stare at her.
Even seeing her stuffing a tomato into her mouth is fucking attractive to me.

After a while her eyes finally meet mine, but I look away quickly.
I wait a few seconds and her eyes are still on me.
I don't move my glance from her and she smiles and waves at me, just as if we were friends.
I nod and focus on my food.
This makes no sense; I shouldn't be sitting here with my sister's friends, I should be sitting with her, making fun of her passion for tomatoes as she squeezes my tight underneath the table.