gawsten oneshots ★

remembering sunday

if anyone of you have been reading my writing since july, you would know that i wrote this oneshot back then. but after looking it over again, i didn't like it. so i'm going to re-write it here without the lyrics and the added cringey content. i'm doing the same with my december oneshot, too. thank you for the understanding! -tyde

original: july 17 2017

edited: february 11 2018

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Awsten woke up on a Tuesday morning around two in the morning. The street lights were on and illuminated everything in sight. It was the only light that he had right now in. He stumbled over his own feet as he walked down the street, the snow was falling slowly. His head was pounding and his body tried to balance out his intake of alcohol with minimal water. He couldn't remember the last time he was sober. 

The wind was blowing. Hard. Awsten's hat was falling off of his head as he went against the wind. When the end of the street came up, he could see Geoff's house. It brought back all of his positive memories, but due to the state he was in, they were terrible. He closed his eyes and fell to his knees, the sidewalk cutting them up all over again. They were already scabbed over but now they were bleeding again. Flashbacks started to occur as he started at the house he once slept in. He needed Geoff back more than ever. 

A week later, Awsten was walking down the street again. The snow was getting worse this time around. As he looked at the street sign and read it out loud.

"Houston Avenue," His voice was strained and it hurt to speak. 

More flashbacks flew by like the time Geoff and him put IKEA furniture together, the time they got locked out in the winter, the time they accidentally woke up the neighbors with loud pot banging. It was all coming back.

After Geoff moved, Awsten was desperate to talk to him again. For god sakes, he was planning on marrying him. For weeks, he tried to dig up information about Geoff and his new location. He couldn't even find where Geoff was. His number was changed and he wasn't able to call anymore. Geoff never picked up anyway, but he still tried. He left a lot of voicemails. Geoff listened to none of them. Everything seemed to go to shit after Geoff had left. Without Geoff, Awsten truly felt empty. 

Geoff didn't think he could ever fall in love again, especially after what happened to him years prior to meeting Awsten. But when Awsten came tumbling into his life, it was game over. With a silver tongue, Awsten could convince Geoff to do anything. Sadly, it wasn't the best of time when things were pushed and pulled. Whenever Geoff was put in a certain situation, it felt as if his stomach was tingling and tying its self into knots. Awsten knew how to get what he wanted. 

At some point in their relationship, after the puppy love had disappeared, Awsten was wrecking everything. First, it was Geoff and then it was their house. It wasn't Awsten though, it was the alcohol that was in Awsten. Things were tipped over and Geoff was crying silently to himself in their bedroom. The neighbors were generally concerned for the brunette. They had came over and checked up on them. The neighbors asked what was going on but Geoff waved them off, saying it was okay. Lie. It was all a lie. He wasn't happy.

But now, without Geoff, Awsten was ready to die. Literally. It's been months since he's seen him and he just can't handle it anymore. Things were becoming too tough and he was left to sleep on Otto's couch. Sometimes he'd leave to his parents, but that was all and it didn't help. His dreams and thoughts all consisted of one person. Geoff. No one else, just the blue-eyed, brunette boy who left him behind for another state. It hit him right in the heart, there was no way to dismiss his feelings at this point.

Now, it was two days before Christmas. Plan's were made before Geoff had left. Awsten was going to spend this Christmas with Geoff and his family, but now, it's wasn't happening. Ever. The rain turned to snow, it was supposed to be beautiful and nice; all Awsten saw was ugly. The snow was ugly. The lights were ugly. Everything was ugly. That morning was the morning when Awsten decided to ask people around if they knew were Geoff had gone. The lady across the street told him he went to Houston. Awsten didn't want to believe that. He didn't want to believe the person he loved the most was states away.

It was true. Geoff had moved back to Houston to be with his family. It seemed almost better there. He was never going back to Chicago, even if Awsten had moved on and left.  The whole city just seemed to bring bad memories. The first week in Houston seemed terrible, though. Geoff refused to speak to his siblings and tell them why he moved back. They left him alone after the first day. He wasn't going to speak to them.

There was no snow in Houston. It was Texas for god sake, but every time Geoff took a shower he felt like he was washing away any memories he had in Chicago. He was washing away Awsten, late night conversations, and all the times he accidentally missed the bus to work because of Awsten and how he had to walk. All the good and bad memories were being slowly washed away. 

He wanted a fresh start. That's all he really wanted for Christmas. Geoff was ready for that new start in a new city with a new mindset. He deserved a new start more than anything. The plane ride from Chicago to Houston seemed like one of the best days of life. He was far away from Awsten, bad memories, and people who hurt him. For the first time in forever, Geoff was okay.

On Christmas, Awsten cried and felt sorry for himself as Geoff celebrated it with his family, happier than ever. They were two different types of people. All day, Awsten just cried into the pillows of Otto's couch while Otto was at his parent's house. It was a long, lonely day. 

While Awsten couldn't stop thinking about Geoff. Geoff didn't have one single thought about Awsten.