The pillow

I wake up.  The sky is blue, and judging from my clock, it's noon. "auugh............." I moan.  I hate mornings. Even though technically its closer to the afternoon. I turn around. There's an empty space in my bed. "Wha- where it go?" I jump up and frantically scramble around looking for it. It cant be gone. This cant be happing! 

Tom walks into my room. "Holy poptarts and pencil sharpers, it looks messy in here." "I've lost it!!" I frantically tell tom as I strip apart my bedroom. "My pillow ive lost it!!" Tom sighed and took a swig from his flask."First of all, Edd, your freacking out over a pillow, and second why do I care if you've lost it.?" "Tom, this is important!! if you don't help me, I'll hide all the alcohol in the house!!" "And if you do that," said Tom, "I'll hide all the coke in the house." "NOOOOO!!!!!" I scream. "NOT THE COKE!!" 

"Fine you got me," I sigh. "dude, come on, just come downstairs and eat breakfast, Its just a pillow after all," Tom says. "UGGGH, FINE," I groaned and followed tom to the kitchen. 

In the kitchen, Matt was sitting down and feeding a peanut butter sandwich to a lump of something. As I got closer, I didn't really pay attention to it, but as I got out my cereal O's I realized it was a giant body pillow of matt. "Wha-I-Where did you get that!?!" I sputter, blushing violently at matt. "Oh, this dreamboat?" Says Matt staring at the body pillow with a loving look in his eyes, "I just found him laying in your bed. Isn't he beautiful?" "Great," said Tom, popping his toast into the toaster. "Now there are even more of you I have to stand." 

Fast forward

"UGGH," moned tom, staring at Matt making out with pillow matt. It had been two days since Matt had first found pillow matt, and Mat had announced that they were official "a couple." "I swear if he keeps making out with that thing I will murder him." I just sat there, silently. I couldn't believe I lost matt to a pillow. I mean, It was as pretty as him, but besides that, It didn't even have a brain! Suddenly, I knew what I had to do. 

At midnight, I woke up. I knew I would need all the help I could get on this mission, so I chugged a gallon of cola to keep up my wits and strung my lucky can around my neck. Creeping upstairs, I slowly approached Matts bed. There, lying next to him was the pillow, the one who stole his heart. Slowly, I drew back the covers and took the pillow in my hands. "Do you know how much he means to me?" I whispered to the pillow, my hands shaking. "I'm sorry, but there's only enough room in his hart or one of us." I walked over to the open window and held him out. "Goodbye, Matt." Before I could chuck him to his death, the lights turned on. "Edd?" Matt stood by the light switch in his jammies, stareing at me in disbelief. "I'm sorry matt," I say. Then, before he can stop me, I chuck the pillow out of the window. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, PILLOW MATTTTTT." Screams Matt. But I don't care. I will never let anyone else have him. Not ever.