Stranded

Author's Note

Ok, there are very few people I follow on YouTube because most of the channels are comprised of random dudes screaming at each other about 'OMGERDZ WHY YOU SHEWT MEEEEEEE' while they play video games. It's not my thing, but there is a gamer I do follow who goes by SomeOrdinaryGamers. Mutahar is his name, and his channel has great content. I enjoy his Deep Web series (although I'm close to 30 episodes behind), but I also like when he throws a rant video up because you can hear (and sometimes see) the passion he has for what he does on his channel. I have a lot of respect for that, as I feel most people nowadays aren't passionate about anything.

Plus, and I'm not trying to sound weird here, I find his voice soothing and mellow. I used to throw up a playlist of his creepypastas and just fall asleep listening to him tell me fucked up stories.

So yeah, I got a soft spot for Mutahar. But, I digress...

A video of his came up in my recommended section where he covered himself reading fanfiction of...well...himself. My brain immediately started cackling and went 'oh FUCK yes!' and I fired up the video.

My God. This had to be some of the worst fanfiction I've ever read/heard... and that's including the story we found a couple of years ago where Jeremy Clarkson had some girl fuck herself on a gear shift, (oh God I WISH I was making this up), claiming she did it 'For Jeremy', and then died in the hospital because Jeremy and Richard Hammond fucked her to death. I'll have you know that fucked up ass story has stayed with me ever since. I've scarred my best friends with it (as you do because what are friends for?) and now whenever we make plans to do something incredibly fucked up, we say "For Jeremy!" and go do the thing.

Okay, now I'm really rambling...

But yeah, Mutahar, OMG horrible fanfiction. Just terrible. Emo poets everywhere cried black eyeliner, Smut writers across the globe groaned in unison and for once thought 50 Shades of Gray had better smut written. Jesus wept.

Speaking of, you motherfuckers who wrote that horrible Mutahar porn need Jesus and a grammar book.

So, I've decided to intervene. Because, for fuck's sake, someone has to.

When I say I'm' intervening,' I mean 'I'm going to give that man what he deserves... which is WAY better smut because the competition is just embarrassing'. This really isn't something I have time for since I already have three other books I'm in the middle of writing, and some-fucking-how I've gotten an ARG dumped into my lap. I'm a busy motherfucker GDI, but if I can take the time out to hash out some decent porn, then no one else has an excuse.

No, I'm not a crazy person. No, I do not have a shrine of Mutahar in my closet. No, this is something I don't normally do. But seriously, if you guys are going to write fanfiction about him, have some fucking class for Christ's sake.

Mutahar, this is for you my friend (although we've never met, and quite frankly, I'm sure you'll probably NEVER want to be my friend after this. Because I know you're thinking 'who the fuck would write good smut about me in retaliation for all the bad smut written about me?'. And yeah, let's be honest, I'd be questioning it too.)