So, future readers (or current readers), I want to use this as my source of venting, if you don't mind.
So if you're hungry for a chapter, don't worry, there is one in the near future. About 3 days, to be exact.
But right now, at 11, I'm feeling depressed.
Here's the reason:
So I hopped on the internet, and went to my #1 favorite emo song; I Write Sins, Not Tragedies
Of course, I start to work on the chapter you are currently waiting for, and jam out to that song on loop. After about 25 minutes of P!aTD, I start to surf YouTube for a new song. Surfing through, I think of more emo songs and bands, such as MCR.
Then I remembered that your lovely #2 asshole, Miles, yelling at me during lunch about not having ever listened to a single MCR song. And I think, "Of course fuckin' not! The damned band broke up before I knew being emo was even an option, dickhead!" (BTW, Do not worry, we talk to each other like this all the time and still remain friends. Now that's friendship. (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞)
But anyway, I find one of their most famous emo songs: Welcome to the Black Parade. I listen to the first note (the goddamn G note that makes us all cry) and I'm addicted. I love the music, and I'm still listening to it.
So I started think the regular old emo thoughts. Death and shit. Then... holy fuck... I thought about what my funeral would be like. If people would even care enough to give me one. Who would give me a funeral? What would it be like? Fun? Sad? Happy? Laughing? I don't know.
Honestly, Welcome to the Black Parade reminds me of myself. How I feel inside. It kind of... represents me. It feels like this song was made to relate to me and my shitty life. So, for whenever I die, and who ever makes my gravestone, please.
I'd appreciate it if on this stone you'd put 'Joined the Black Parade'. Because, the world is shitty. My life sucks ass. My life problems suck ass. (I even have the biggest crush on this girl at my school, and she knows it, which makes me want to cry.)
If you know me in real life, you'd understand I can be a little energetic bi piece of shit who listens to her friends talk about anything, and will still love them. I also joke that I hate myself. But.. deep down? I really do.
I care about my friends, and even if they hated me, and I was heartbroken, I'd still love them just as much. I'd still throw away my life for them. I don't care what you are like. Gay, Autistic, Porn-Obsessed, A Masturbater, A drunk, or even a sadistic asshole. I will still accept, love, and appreciate every single bit of you.
And you. Yes, you. If I do end up dying... just... believe in yourself. Don't let yourself get upset. Now this doesn't mean your life wont be hell at one point, because it will be. But pull through. Don't get depressed like I am. Let me tell you, it doesn't fix anything. It just makes it worse. Fix your problems with people, friends, family, an entire fandom at your side, and those people will help you every step of the way.
So if anybody needs any help through their problems or needs to rant, dm me through Wattpad. I will read the entire thing.
That's it for now. Love you all.
And don't forget.
"Carry On."
