Looking for new, cool ways to spice up your boring old forbidden fruit? Well, then this is the book for you! Introducing new and amazing unique meals, including breakfast, lunch, dinner, and various snacks! We include fresh recipes for off brands, v...
I. D O. N O T. N E E D. T O. S T R E S S. T H I S. E N O U G H.
THIS BOOK. IS A JOKE.
TIDE PODS, LAUNDRY CLEANING PRODUCTS. ARE NOT EDIBLE.
DO NOT TRY ANY OF THESE RECIPES UNLESS IT IS FOR PHOTOS ONLY.
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I KNOW YOU DREAM ABOUT THE AMAZING TASTE OF THE FORBIDDEN GOODNESS.
BUT SADLY UNTIL GUSHERS FINALLY CAVES IN, TIDE PODS ARE NOT EDIBLE.
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HERE IS A LIST OF THE ACTUAL INGREDIENTS OF TIDE PODS.
POLYVINYL ALCOHOL:
The dissolvable plastic-like substance that keeps the liquid inside. This film is a water-soluble polymer related to ELMER'S GLUE.
DENATONIUM BENZOATE:
Considered the most bitter substance known to man, this white powder is on the outer film to get kids and animals to spit it out before they swallow too many toxic chemicals.
FATTY ACID SALTS:
Though for people stupid enough to actually eat Tide pods or any other substance meant to clean things, Soap. IT WILL MAKE YOU THROW UP.
ALCHOLETHOXY SULFATE:
Used to remove stains in clothing, what do you think it would remove in your stomach?
DISODIUM DISTYRYLBIPHENYL DISULFONATE:
Provides a faint blue glow that counteracts with the yellowing of aging clothing making them look white. Doesn't that sound safe and yummy?
MANNANASE:
Breaks apart thickeners, to help remove stubborn stains. Wonder what else it would try to thin in a human body?
AMYLASE:
Attacks starch-based stains.
SUBTILISIN:
Its sole purpose is to remove keratin, WHICH IS IN SKIN.
DIETHYLENETRIAMINE PENTAACETATE, SODIUM SALT:
Softens water by latching on to metals, also lifts stains that contain metal ions.
CALCIUM FORMATE:
Keeps all enzymes alive until the film is broken, makes sure they can all attack as strong as possible.
And if after all that you still want to eat them here is exactly what you will go through before you die:
