Tig, gemma & SOA related and centred --- solos. but mainly Juice oneshots

juice solo. the minefields in 4x11

Jax turns to juice and kozic "hey, Back up clay." they both nod, "absolutely, yeah" turning around juice starts to follow clay and kozik, gun in hand.
A light ticking noise starts as they move forward
Clay looks around "shit, Stop! mines!!"
Juice freezes as one blows up the guy infront of him. Panic in his eyes.
"Get down" he hears clays orders and then drops to the ground as a load of bullets come flying their way. Fear clear in his face as his breathing starts to become harder to do.
"Oh you gotta be shitting me"
juice turns his head at the exact time he heard kozik.
then BAM. He was gone. Just like that. Right in front of him.
The mine blew up, juice watched his friends body turn into nothing, Koziks arm landed on the side of juice and his eyes widened in horror.
And thats basically all that was left of him.
'That should have been me' sadly was the only thought that came to his head.
They were in a minefield.
After a few seconds Juice sits up and aims his gun at the enemies, shooting at everything in front of him in the distance, hoping that he would hit some of the assholes.
"Down" he heard clay bark and he fell to the ground again. Head covered by the little hill of dirt he had to hide behind.
After staying still for a few minutes he sees a huge explosion infront of him, knowing it was his guys that were blowing the fuckers up, he sat up again and aimed, started shooting, he shot all his bullets until there were none left then dove back down.
"We're all clear" he heard in the distance and juice stood up slowly. Looking around him at the mess of peoples bodies.
"Hey, can you retrace your steps?" Jax called out snapping juice from his thoughts. "Yeah i think so." Replied clay. Juice looked around slowly.
"One at a time, slow.." Chibs yelled from the distance.
Clay looked over "juice, fall in behind me."
Juice looked forward. "I got it." He said determined, as he started walking forward, trying to retrace his steps but not really trying at the same time.
"What are you doing?" Clay demanded as juice continued stepping.
"Juice! Juice!  Hey, easy!" Chibs yelled in protest in the distance, worry and nerves clear in his voice.
Juice really didn't care though, he stepped fast, almost in a jagged line moving towards safety. He didnt say a word.
Once he reached the safe area he turned around. Heart pumping, his whole body was tingley. He didnt care in that moment if he got blown up, he kind of hoped he would. He failed at offing himself the first time, made even more trouble for himself when chibs found out.  maybe this would work. He was fucked after what hes done anyway.
"Clear."
Juice stopped and a frown formed on his face as he reached jax and chibs and looked back at clay.
He didn't really know where that urge came from, he didnt care. He felt numb after what he had just witnessed. Kozik was a good guy, his arm that landed on him was basically all that was left. Juice sighed once he walked from the group, 'it should have been me' again another bad thought entered his mind. knowing clay jax and chibs were all even more worried now,
Chibs found out about the tree a few days earlier, sighing juice knew he would have to answer some questions after what he had just pulled. He had no excuse for the danger that he just purposefully put himself in. It was suicide. But it was worth it if it would only end this nightmare that has become his life, potter, roosevelt, they had him.
He had no choice but to do what they said because losing the club was just something that juice couldnt handle.
He was in deeper then he ever thought possible.
Miles was probably watching him and hoping he would get the same fate that juice forced upon him. Death. Its what he deserved after all he has done.

||. Mkay, this hurt my heart to write. My poor juicy'boy. :'( this scene was intense.