Astray | Y O O N M I N | 민윤기 | 박지민

°2°

It's been a few months now that I have been pregnant. I have people who love and support me but yet I feel like I'm doing this alone.

Yes, though the fact is, I chose this path and got a sperm donor, I still wish that I had someone here with me throughout all the pain. 

| F L A S H B A C K |

" Hello, Jimin. " The doctor said once I was situated in the room. " Morning Dr. Kim. " I say back, Hands shaky and face full of nervousness because of the important decision I am going to make.

" So, I believe that you are here because you have chosen a donor through which I had recommended. " He says, sitting down in his chair and having a plain look on his face as if this is normal to him. Yeah having a guy come for an artificial insemination is perfect for the norm.           

" Yes sir, I have. " I picked a man in his early 20's, said to be intelligent and hardworking. Of course, there was more to it but for some reason, I just had a gut feeling and picked the man that I did.

" Good...Good. So shall we begin? " And all of a sudden the doctor gives me a hopeful smile and in just those seconds, all my nervousness is gone. 

| F L A S H B A C K E N D E D |

During the early days of my pregnancy, I fealt very happy and excited, thinking the baby was coming tomorrow when it comes in 9 months but still, the thrill of becoming a parent consumed me and I fealt more purposeful with my life thinking, I won't need anyone except for my child. 

I don't need to be loved by anyone else but my child. Who says single parents can't parent? My child will be enough for me. My little Chimmy in my stomach will be my only source of happiness, of course, I will also have my friends to care for me.

I do have someone in my heart for who I do love dearly, but It would never work out between me and him. Yes, I am a Homosexual man. I like men, so let's move on. 

" Say, Chimmy. Will you be happy with only me by your side? " Rubbing my swollen belly in a soothing matter and waiting for my little one to kick me, " But its okay! you'll have all your uncles and they'll love and care for you as their own. " 

Thinking for a hard minute, I realize something, " Oh! What do we name you sweetie? Minho? or Minhyuk? or Yoonsung?. " Smiling greatly at the name that reminds me too much of something I love I continue, " It means eldest to succeed. Wouldnt you like that one, Mhm? " 

Honestly, I'm tired of staying in this apartment every day, I'm naturally clingy and people know that and now that I'm pregnant it just hurts, even more, to not have someone near me. Paying a visit to Yoongi won't hurt right? But what if his girlfriend is there? I think she hates me or something, it's like she's so intimidating where I try to say something and all she has to do is give me a look and I lose all my confidence.

What a Bitch right? I mean every time she looks at me it's like she despises me like please honey, I don't need your dirty ass looks coming towards my way, thank you. 

And I love Min Yoongi. I've loved him for as long as I can remember. What do you call that feeling whenever you think of someone? The feeling of need for that person. What is it other than Love?

But Yoongi wouldn't love a fat pregnant person like me. Especially a guy, I mean cmon he's straight. Not gay like me. And even if he was, why would he make a move?  Even in high school. I'm pretty sure I showed as a guy to likes other guys.

Slowly getting up from my place on the couch, I make my way towards the bedroom so that I may change into something normal for me to wear but something that's still comfortable.

Heading out the door and walking down the hallway, I can see Yoongi's door opening and Suran comes out, 

" Oh, It's you. " She gives me a face of disgust and makes her way towards me

" Hugh, how pathetic. Why don't you just become a girl already instead of being a lowlife freak! " Little did I know, Yoongi was at the door watching the whole thing.

" I-I... " I couldn't speak, it was like all the air I was breathing in suddenly cut out halfway. All I could do is eye the floor.

Making her way towards me she looked like she was about to pounce,
" For god's sake! Just shut the Fuck up! Nobody is going to want and love a freak like you, especially your kids! "

And like that, something inside me like a switch just flipped.  I was in full mama bear mode and my hormones were raging.

But before I could do anything someone stopped me.

" Jimin don't. It's okay. " Slowly whispering in my ear, calming me completely down.

" Oppa! Thank god you came! Jimin was being so rude to me! How could you be best friends with someone like him? " 

Yoongi held his forehead on mine and took a deep breath, slowly chuckling to himself.

" Suran? "

" Yes, Oppa? "

" Leave. "

Suran's whole expression changed from that of happy to despair, " B-But Oppa! "

" Just go! " Yoongi turned around and the look of anger clearly evident on his face.

 " And that's it! You and I are over Suran. How dare you disrespect Jimin like that when he's never done anything to you!? "

" But he has Oppa! I know the way you look at him and mumble his name in your sleep! You care for him more than you do for me! "

Yoongi's eyes widened, never did he realize that he actually does that. " So what If I do? I love him. He's my best friend and I'll always pick him over you. Always, So leave and never come back, bitch. " After that, she left in quite the hurry.

Yoongi turned around Quickly. Still holding on to me he made way and cupped my face in his hands, Giving me time to appreciate his features. How beautiful his face is, the way his eyes look at me, the way his lips form to make words, or the way his eyebrows furrow when he's sleepy which by the way is all the time. The way he cups my face with his big hands, Hands that have held me close at my worst. 

Finally, Yoongi looks me in the eyes.

" ...I-

Second chapter guys! Have fun with the rest of your day!