In Love With A Killer (A BTS x GOT7 Fanfiction)

Part 4

(BamBam's POV)
I knocked on the door to Jackson's dorm room to talk to him. Yugyeom wanted me to switch rooms with him. Can you blame him?, the voice in my head said. You broke his heart.
I know!, I answered. What I did was selfish. I broke up with my boyfriend for someone else and what was even worse: I told him there was someone else. I never did anything so terrible before and I felt so bad. But I couldn't deny my feelings. I couldn't be with Yugyeom when I was in love with someone else. It wouldn't be fair to him, he deserved better than this. So now I was standing in front of the door to Jackson's room and soon realized that no one would open it. I slowly opened the door and stepped inside. No one was there but the bathroom door was slightly open. I got a bad feeling for some reason and walked towards the door. "Hello? I was - oh, shit!" The scene that waited for me in the bathroom was so disturbing and shocking. Jackson was sitting on the floor with a crying Mark in his arms. I rushed to them and saw Mark's wrists being cut open. "What the hell happened!?", I asked and looked at Jackson who held a phone in his hand. "Come here!", he said and told me to hold Mark "I'm gonna call an ambulance." "No!", Mark cried "Please! No ambulance!" I took his bloody wrists in my hands and looked at him. "Mark, listen to me -!", I said. "No!", he interrupted "Please, no!" "Mark!", Jackson said "You need to -" "No!", Mark cried "Don't!" He was having a panic attack. I'm not a doctor or anything but I was pretty sure that this couldn't be healthy and will probably just get worse if we didn't do anything. I wondered how long he has been sitting here and immediately started feeling sick. Oh God, I thought and looked Mark in the eyes. "Shh, okay. Calm down! No ambulance", I agreed and turned my head to Jackson "Call Jinyoung." "Okay, good idea." Jinyoung was a medicine major in his  third year. While Jackson was calling him I tried to talk with Mark. I took his face in my hands and looked into his eyes. "Mark, focus!", I told him "Tell me what happened!" He just looked at me with remorseful eyes. These beautiful eyes you could get lost in. But right now they were so tired and full of tears. "I am sorry, BamBam", he said and passed out in my arms. "What?", I said confused "Mark? Mark! Hey - No no no, please!" I panicked and my eyes filled with tears. "Jackson!", I called as I tried waking Mark. "Please!", I said sobbing "Wake up! You're not gonna die on me!" This isn't happening, I thought. What the hell happened? No, no, Mark, please! Please...I love you, Mark...

(Mark's POV)
When I woke up BamBam was the first person I saw. His face lit up as he smiled at me. "God, you're alive!", he said and hugged me "You scared the hell out of me!" "What happened?", I asked. My voice was cracking and was weaker than I thought it would be. BamBam looked at me in confusion. "You don't remember?", he asked. I tried to focus on my thoughts but I was so tired. I shook my head. "You almost died, Mark", he explained and his eyes filled with tears. I stared at him and looked down to the bandages on my wrists. "Oh, right...", I recalled and immediately felt stupid. I looked at BamBam and he gave me the most beautiful smile. He took my hand and placed a kiss on my forehead. "Just get some rest", he said and left me. I tried remebering what happened. I went straight to my room after school has been over and went into the bathroom where I started crying. I couldn't handle it anymore. Somehow I had always managed to survive this feeling, at least until today. Today it overwhelmed me so I did it again. This terrible thing I always did when the pain was just too overwhelming. Thinking about it made me feel embarrassed and caused my eyes to fill with tears. I didn't even notice Cassie coming towards me and sitting down on the bed next to me. "Hey", she said and took my hand "How are you feeling?" "Like my head is about to explode", I said. She gave me a pityful smile. "Do you remember what happened?" I nodded. "I'm sorry", I whispered. Cassie stared at me and shook her head. "Don't apologize", she said "What's important now is that you're alive and well." I nodded as I felt a tear streaming down my cheek. "But, Mark... what happened to you that you almost bled yourself out?" I sighed. I wasn't sure if I could talk about this. But this was Cassie. I knew I could trust her with this, she won't judge me or tell anyone. She probably knew how I felt anyway. "Promise me not to tell anyone about this", I said and she nodded. So I sat up in my bed, took a deep breath and started talking. "You know how people would chew their nails or smoke to forget their problems? Well, I hurt myself", I confessed "Sometimes I need to feel pain to stop worrying about everything." Cassie looked at me with a worried look on her face. "Why?", she asked me. "Because", I began "There's something wrong with me. I have these thoughts about someone...very bad thoughts. Like -" I couldn't say it. I couldn't say out loud that I had sex fantasies about my friend. Judging by Cassie's face I didn't have to. "Mark, there's nothing wrong about that", she said "We're all craving for someone we don't want to admit." "It's not like I have feelings for him or something!", I said. Cassie sighed and looked at me, totally ignoring the fact that I just basically admitted I was craving for a guy. That's why she's my best friend. She never judges me because she doesn't care about these things. Well, she's bi herself, I reminded myself. "How did you feel?", I asked without looking at her "When you first knew that you were in love with a girl, I mean?" Cassie smiled at me. "Just like you feel right now. I didn't want to admit it", she told me "But eventually I accepted it. You know, I never felt that way until I met Jamie. She taught me to accept my feelings." I shook my head. "No, that's different!", I decided "I'm not in love with BamBam!" Cassie raised an eyebrow. "BamBam?" I looked at her, blushing, and nodded. She looked to the floor and for a while there was silence. It almost seemed like she was starting to realize something. Then she looked at me. "You should probably talk to him", she finally said.