Writing Prompts

Honey, there's a zombie on the lawn again.

   The <insert type> Apocalypse is upon us. You were so well prepared in anticipation of this that honestly...it's a lot more boring than you expected.  

We had all seen it in films before, we thought we knew what to expect. However we didn't acknowledge our own indecisiveness and whilst we all set a standard, this was only in correlation to how good we thought what we had seen before was. 

In a nutshell we were wanting Shaun of the Dead but we were preparing for World War Z.

Zombies were becoming boring by 2018, you had your stereotypical 3 genres;

1. The Crazy Ones- as displayed in World War Z usually within 30 seconds maybe a minute after  being bitten were brainwashed, started biting themselves, screeching and bleeding from most facial openings. 

2. The Classic Ones- these were the originals. Brain dead, with a limp, made frequent unnecessary groans and overall really  boring that by the modern age of film are resulted to a comedic crutch. They are basically just dead and really hungry with an alternative diet.

3. Finally The 'I Mean That's A Bit Far' Ones- Now many people didn't like zombies due to that small margin of possibility. Sure it was extremely unlikely, but it had a foundation of medical mutation -which was very real. However these one surpass this, these are often completely bald and devoid of human characteristics or the opposite in which they are covered in various growths and randomly click and screech every 5 seconds. These are the ones most people fear as they are so close yet so distant from us to do anything about it. These people would most likely have shit themselves at I Am Legend or just completely quit The Last of Us.

No one had expected it to actually happen.

Allegedly it started as a mishap in a government experiment- surprising i know.  Despite the fact that various rumors have gone around saying whether it was intentional or not no one really knows. So suddenly we were all plunged into a film that was when people started arguing which film we were going to be plunged into. 

How many people were going to die? 

Was it airborne?

What was the government going to do about it?

Were the government going to nuke us? 

What were we going to do?

So as the worldwide panic ensued those of us who realized crying wasn't going to fix anything and the mass evacuation of major cities was pointless as reports of the virus or mutation or whatever it were soon flooding news stations all over the world.

I personally had nothing to lose I wasn't that fussed about anything or anyone just looking good as i bashed the beloved brains out of a zombie. My family left town as soon as it started not caring whether i got left behind or not.Dickheads. So then i was on my own. 

Communities started growing despite the decay. The virus was beginning to take effect nationwide when i joined one of these communities. These were people who recognized government dependence was as good as signing their own death sentence. We were prepared albeit it was a cult of paranoid military vets and teenage rebels with a sense of foreboding. 

I'll never forget the first time i saw one.

I was prepared i mean i had the guns, the knives, fuck i even had warpaint on. A transmission has reported one by the recently cleared out supermarket. I was ready. So ready. There it came stumbling and limping, it's eyes rolling back in it's skull, saliva running and rolling down its chin as its jaw swung low and was hit by multiple spasms and retractions. What the fuck? Is this it?  I remember clear as day taking my chances and striding straight up to it to which it tried to grasp me its arms outstretched searching blindly, you could literally walk circles around it. I mean sure physically it was grotesque but jeez, a bullet shot with your eyes closed fixed both problems. They were boring as fuck. I know i should be more grateful it wasn't trying to personally claw itself into my digestive system but talk about an anticlimax.

Despite this across the world a code of living emerged.

If you get bitten. You probably weren't cut out to be here anyway.

Life went on with an abnormal normalcy. We grew up, we got married, we had kids. The world evolved after the initial panic, it was clear the infected weren't going away, some still got bit, but it was a quick and easy clean up solution, it wasn't the end of the world.

Which leaves me here reminiscing over the past fondly rather than with a battered and bruised psyche over a rather nice cup of coffee. This however was interrupted rudely by a sharp screech and thundering footsteps cascading down the stairs.

"Are you sure you aren't brain dead you dickhead"

For fucks sake.

"Abbie" turning to the younger of my delightful offspring."I've told you its rude to compare your brother to the deceased, it's not his fault he has a limited vocabulary and smells a bit" ignoring her cackles the elder, Noah, just sighed.

"Wow.Gee.Thanks for the support Mother".

Downing the coffee i motioned to the two smaller humans, school run was a clear favorite activity of the day on all parts. Despite the groans of protest both made their way to the door each emitting a noise of annoyance when opening the door.

"Mum, there's one near the car again" Noah hollered leaning back on the door frame quickly with a huff of agitation succeeded by " and near the fence".

"Of fucking course there is" i say mumbling whilst rummaging around my bag to find my keys eventually hollering up to my privileged unconscious husband  "Honey, there's zombies on the lawn again please can you call Rob to get it sorted, you know i don't have time in the morning to be dealing with them".

Zombies.They are just inconvenient.