Camila

Give up

You know, it's said that when we truly love someone, we don't give up.

Except in this case, giving up is necessary. Camila has been in a complicated relationship with her boyfriend, Jason, for almost a year now.

Camila believes that what she feels for him is love, and that he feels the same way. Regardless of the lies, and all the pain he has caused her by using. The feeling that she gets for Jason is just pity at best, yet she won't let go of him.

Y/N, Camila's best friend knows about everything that's happening. She's tried hard to just listen to Camila's midnight rants filled with tears and alcohol. But she's finding it harder and harder to sit and watch this happen to the girl that she loves and has adored since they first met in middle school.

"He actually apologized." Camila repeated to Y/N.

"But how many times has this happened?" Y/N glared back. She doesn't understand why Camila believes so wholeheartedly that she loves Jason. All he's ever done is give her false hope, and break her heart.

Y/N had never minded letting Camila into her apartment in the middle of the night when Jason doesn't go home to her. If anything, she saw it as another thing to include in her never-ending list of what's wrong with Camila and Jason's relationship.

"He's never apologized." Camila tried to get Y/N to stop pushing. She knows that her relationship with Jason isn't perfect, but she really does love him. He's trying his hardest to stop using drugs and to get another job. At least that's what he says to her while he's towering over her during one of their fights.

"Those are just words, Camila. You've said it yourself. Words mean nothing when actions like that are repeated so much." Y/N raised her voice.

"I know, I don't know why I keep going back. It's not like other guys are going after me. I- I just can't explain it."

Camila sighed desperately wanting to persuade Y/N into letting it go for tonight. With the day she's had at work, she doesn't want to do anything other than sleep.

"I don't understand why you keep doing this. You've said you're done so many times, but then he does something different to pretend to change and then messes up again and lies." The most recent thing is of him going out to cheat on Camila. She knows about it but has yet to do much to end it.

"I'm tired of seeing you depressed over him and letting it happen. If you have other guys offering you more, then go for them." Saying that was hard for Y/N. She's tired of seeing Camila upset about him, and wants her to be happy with someone who deserves her. But she so desperately wants that 'someone' to be her. "Don't go for addicts that'll never change."

"I don't know what to say, Y/N. Every time I think about him leaving everything in my body screams no." Camila looked away from Y/N's eyes. Her heart feels heavy when thinking about leaving Jason. He needs to be out of her life but she needs someone to feel close to like that. She's felt that way with Y/N before but knew that the feelings wouldn't be mutual, so that's why shes been with Jason for so long; To forget.

Camila shook her head and met Y/N's eyes again. At that moment she felt a warmth in her heart that was deeper and more passionate than the feeling of looking at her younger sister. Her gaze met Y/N's lips once quickly before Y/N spoke again.

"If you keep letting him hurt you, you'll go down a dark path. I watched my mother go down it and I can't stand thinking about you going too." Y/N watched her mom kill herself. She was only fourteen at the time, but she was old enough to know the reality of what happened. Her boyfriend drove her to it by breaking her heart over and over again, just like Jason is doing to Camila.

Camila's heart began to grow even more passionate with Y/N's words, but she couldn't ever be able to leave Jason, the thought of it scared her.

"I- I have to go. Goodnight, Y/N." Camila smiled and walked out of Y/N's flat.

Y/N wanted to stop her and tell her everything that she's ever felt for Camila, but she couldn't ever feel the same way. So she sighed and began to drink.

It's been a few days and the girls haven't talked to each other. Camila has been ignoring Y/N in an attempt to get rid of her feelings for her, but nothing's worked so far and Jason has noticed that Camila's been thinking about someone else.

Two weeks since the girls have spoken to each other. Y/N misses Camila more than anything and wishes that she could get her to stop ignoring her. Camila has broken up with Jason in an attempt to figure her feelings out for Y/N.

*Bing* Camila jumped at her phone going off for the first time in a month.

Y/N: Camsmila

Camila: It's 4am??? Go to sleep

Y/N: I can't...

Y/N: I misss y you

Camila: You're drunk, Y/N.

Camila's fingers wanted to move and her brain screamed that she should go over to Y/N's house and confess her undying love for the latter. But Y/N's drunk and wouldn't remember.

Y/N sighed putting her phone down after staring at the screen for 10 minutes even after she was left on read. Who is she kidding? Camila is probably still with Jason right now.

Camila tossed and turned some more in her bed, trying to break the curse that has been keeping her awake for the past two days. Since Jason has moved out Camila's been sleeping better, but now she feels lonely. Her and Y/N always used to cuddle up close during their sleepovers. Y/N is practically a heater for Camila and their body temperatures mix together perfectly so both of them were never too hot or too cold.

Neither of the girls knew it, but they sighed simultaneously and nodded off to sleep. Their dreams filled with thoughts of each other.

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Hey so like this relates to my life in a way rn and this was just so that I could rant about it freely without as much context. I was doing great at first but then came up with like 6 different endings before I just left it off where it is.

I didn't want it to be a sad ending because it just didn't flow And the happy endings were even worse. And I didn't feel the need to finish it because I'm still going through this myself, so no ending in general seemed to fit what I'm feeling.