contagiously In Love

11

Days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months, it has Been one month since jake had spoken to me, he had given me what I had asked for leaving the pranks and bullying to those who didnt listen to his commands.

My life for that month has been ,we'll, awesome, I haven't had any pranks played on me other then a few from people who didn't matter, but after my run ins with them they two soon stopped.

Katie has still been acting weird and has stopped speaking to me fully, we don't eat lunch together anymore I'm not even sure she eats lunch being that she is never in school anymore. I wasn't upset about this but I was confused,i haven't called her to get an explanation, she is causing space between us for two reasons, one was she was probably having trouble at home, her father works like mine does but when he does come home he's mean and abusive towards her mother, reason number two she was just simply tired of me, that thought or that knowing didn't bothered me which is strange but like my mother has always said, big girls don't dwell on things they can't fix they simply move on and wait for it to fix themselves.

Whenever I would pass jake in the halls he would pretend to not notice me when I know for a fact his eyes looked over for a second, he didn't seem the same either, from what I overheard in class, jake hasn't been to a party or banged every girl he comes into view with, these people were upset maybe even disappointed at him for his sudden change but I on the other Hand felt some what guilty for his ranking to go down a few steps.

I felt like I was walking on water everyday that I passed by his group of friends, even with him standing there I would send all of them a small smile almost like a 'in your face' smirk, Sarah would just growl at me while the rest returned the gesture, jake never looked at me but to be completely honest I didn't really care and I know how bad that sounds but I don't, I mean I still wish I haven't said the things I said but at the same time I felt releived.

At home was another story, my mother would ask questions about jake and what I have done to him, yes my mother knows everything and it doesn't help that she's best friends with jakes mother, I'm guessing jake and his mother has a good relationship becuz everything I had told him my mother would tell me everyday making me relive what I had done,
"I just don't understand Jessica , you two were so close" she would say knowing her argument wasn't invalid, my mother would never understand what really goes on between jake and I, and I'm not so sure she should even know, I'm fully aware of what I have done and who I had hurt and I wish I could make it back but with all the new founded glory I had suddenly become over whelmed with, I couldn't find myself trying to make it better.

I wasn't a bad persons and I have never done anything bad but why must I feel like I have?

Jake had hurt me many of times, to many to count but here I am feeling pity for him and his ranking at school, my heart will always be apart of jakes and I know no matter how hard we try we will always end up speaking, rather we liked it or not .

So as you can see my life was complicated but at the same time perfect, I hate feeling happy when he was hurt and I also hate being brave when he was slowly becoming a coward.

Today was just a another normal day, typical morning classes along with office work.

As I sit alone, not by choice, eating my lunch I had this over whelming feeling of sadness, not only becuz jake had just walked in with his head hung low an his feet dragging, but he had just sat down with a girl who I have never seen before, she had his hand into hers looking happy as ever while he looked depressed, her smile wasn't so cute but her eyes were glowing, her small body frame wasn't as perfect as mine and she sure in hell didn't have the curves I did but she did have jakes hand in hers. I felt jealous and I know I'm wrong for it but I just can't help but to feel the tugging at my heart as he wipes hair away from her face, the small gesture he once did to me.