Fallen Angel||Sam Winchester X Reader

Goodbye, World

(Hope POV)
btw there is a trigger warning, i'll let ya know when...

After I told Cas I didn't know where I was, or what I've done, he sits me down at the table and asks me hundred more questions, and I can't seem to answer any of them.

I knew who I was. I knew who Sam, Dean and Cas were... I just didn't seem to remember anything else. I don't remember what I've done, how I met them, or my life in general besides the angel/human thing.

"Do you know where God is?"

That question caught me off guard. I stared blankly at Cas, furrowing my eyebrows in confusion. "Excuse me?"

Cas then rises to his feet, standing right in front of me, staring down at me. "I'm sorry." He tells me.

I shake my head. "For what?"

He then places his hands on my forehead and all I can feel his a red hot pain. I squeeze my eyes shut, screams of pain slipping from my mouth. And then it just stops. The pain is instantly gone.

I hesitantly open my eyes, staring up in horror at Castiel. "What the hell dude?"

Then before I knew what was happening, Sam was lifting me out of my chair and squeezing me against him in a really tight hug. "Yeah, what the hell Cas?"

We all turn to look at the angel, desperate for answers. "Sam, Dean." Cas sighs. "She does know where God is."

And right after Cas said that, Sam's grip on me loosened completely. He steps back, and now all eyes are on me. "Hope?" Sam stares at me, trying desperately not to believe it.

"I... I don't know." My voice shakes. I shake my head, totally confused. "But I don't know where God is."

Cas stands in front me, quite close to me. He rests his hand on my shoulder, looking so incredibly sad. "You do... Hope. You just didn't know you knew yourself."

I shake my head, so completely and utterly confused. "What?" Now my whole body is shaking and I'm not really sure why.

"When you fell... It was hidden, locked, secured in special place somewhere in your head where you couldn't even get to it." Cas explains. "Those angels broke that lock."

I stare at him, trying to process everything he's saying. "I... I know? How? I don't..." I shake my head, tears filling my eyes.

"You don't know. I know that. You still don't. But it's in there. Somewhere in your head. The angels were close to it. They're gonna keep looking for you, Hope. They're not going to stop looking for you." He flat out just tells me. And I'm grateful for it.

I nod, sniffing, wrapping my arms around myself. "I know..." I trail off. "How could I have been so stupid?"

Sam takes my hand in his and gives it a reassuring squeeze. "Don't say that..." He whispers. "You didn't know."

"They followed me. They knew I knew... And I didn't? It's so simple... why didn't I realize?" I shake my head, backing away from the guys, letting Sam's hand go.

"Hope, you didn't know. It was almost like you were programmed to forget... to push any thought away of you knowing." Dean tries to tell me but I don't listen.

"I put so many people in danger..." I continue, slowly backing away but they keep inching closer. "I put you guys in danger..."

"No, you didn't." Sam shakes his head, trying to take my hand again but I won't let him. "This is our life. You didn't make our lives dangerous, it's just how it is. Our life being the way it is has nothing to do with you... it's not your fault."