I felt myself slowly transitioning from my old life as Christine from the popular crowd with no true friends and a life that was purposeless to my new life as Christine, just another girl trying to get through senior year with a few true good friends by her side and a new goal and meaning to life.
It all seemed so surreal. Things were looking up and we would be getting our acceptance letters from the colleges we applied to soon.
I remembered how miserable I felt and how I felt like life had absolutely no meaning before, that my life had no meaning, and now I was beginning to feel like maybe that's not the case anymore. Maybe I was on the path of finding my purpose.
Not only that but now I had Dylan (even though we still haven't confirmed with each other what we are exactly), Georgie who I was hanging out with every weekend and texting nearly everyday after we finished our homework, and even Phil and Justine who were like regular, good friends that everyone wished to have.
I was scrolling through old messages I had had with Dylan, smiling at the jokes we made and the stuff we complained about. I came across a certain conversation that was probably about two months ago:
I went early dress shopping for prom & my mom didn't like any dress :/
D: did you get a dress at all???
No I told u that my mom didn't like anything
All of this was when everything was on even ground and nothing had blown up between Mom and I. I laughed at how I'd gone dress shopping even though the prom was months away. I still didn't have a dress yet, now that I thought about it.
D: what does it matter your mom's opinion? It's YOUR dress
Ik but whatever
D: the question is, did you see any dresses you liked?
All I sent back to him was: ...
D: what's with the periods?
Bc if I answered ur question you'd get pissed
D: you did see a dress you liked, didn't you
Yeah
D: did you tell your mom?
I showed it to her & she said it was ugly
D: I doubt it was ugly
You haven't even seen the dress dummy
D: yeah but ik you have good taste
And how is that dear Dylan?
D: well you're beautiful in everything you wear so you've gotta be beautiful in whatever you pick
I furrowed my eyebrows at my phone when I saw I hadn't responded. I remembered the conversation briefly, but it felt like it had been years ago since we'd had this conversation, especially with everything that's happened in between those two months and now.
8:34 PM
D: I'm just being honest
I know
D: ah so she's not dead
I'm sorry I didn't answer
D: you were ignoring me or something?
Not exactly
D: why the short answers?
Why did you call me beautiful?
D: you can't answer a question with a question, Christine
I was stunned with what you said
D: why? People probably call you beautiful everyday
They call me hot or sexy or cute or something like that. Even pretty but not beautiful
D: obviously people don't know how to compliment beautiful people
Why do you think I'm beautiful?
Dylan didn't answer. Not until midnight.
D: beauty is in the eye of the beholder. You're beautiful in everyone's eye, it's just that they use derogatory terms to express it.
1:05 AM
D: I'm kind of glad I'm the beholder bc you're even more gorgeous in my eyes and that sight is whaust tuaikes mdhsbreahway
I squinted at the words that didn't even look like words anymore. He must've been falling asleep by then and started hitting random letters as he tried to text.
But despite the logical part of my brain telling me that all of the rest of the sentence was gibberish, I imagined that instead, he was trying to write what takes my breath away.
