Short stories

1

Hey, my name's Camius Agrippa, and I'm a demon. Now, you might be scared of me or have an existential crisis because of this, but I assure you, you've probably met more of my kind before. In fact, it'd be pretty rare if you didn't. Anyway, ever since the big guys kinda died out, demons angels and all beings alike have just been living in the real world. Getting jobs, having a family, that kinda stuff. I'm a fire-based shapeshifter type of demon, of course with a human form as well. We can't just walk around with grey skin and like twenty eyes. Originally, we would watch a human for a while, eat them, then take over their lives for a bit, though we don't need to eat humans to survive. Though most of the old demons stick to their old ways, I only do it to those I feel deserve it. Like pedophiles, abusers, racists, sexists, and other people like that.

Now, of course, when killing a human, you want to be discreet about it, because, you know, you can't just out and kill people in public. So we usually find a storage room or something like that. But this time, things got a little messy.
I was in the midst of following the man I was about to kill, for being very discriminatory to people of LGBTQ+, as well as women as a whole, but didn't notice WHERE exactly I was following him too. I followed him into one of those rooms where you hang up your coat, closed the door, and did what I came to do. Little did I know, that door didn't lock! So I'm stuck here, with this dead man, and this priest looking guy. Not knowing what to do, I killed them both and hid the evidence. I ended up shapeshifting into the priest because I didn't want to cause suspicion. Wondering where I was, I went outside to check for a sign, or logo that I could recognize. Turns out, I was in Westboro Baptist Church. Oh boy. I'd heard a lot of things about this place, but it can't be that bad, right?

I went out to the chapel and sat down in the back, to try and get some direction in what I was supposed to be acting like.
The guy talking at the altar was saying something about burning jews, killing gays, enslavement, putting down feminism, and all that crap. I immediately thought of when I was in 7000 BC, where Jesus went and said what he was going to put in the Bible. And though I remember some slavery and feminism, I couldn't really remember if he had said any of that other stuff. I picked up a bible from a stray chair, and saw pages added in, things scribbled or ripped out, and them was Sure that this place couldn't actually be for religion, other than the one made by the rude and single-minded.

From the back of the room, I saw a priest, a woman who looked like they were tied up to a chair, clearly not enjoying herself, some children sitting down in front of the priest's pedestal, and a cute looking man, who seemed to be the fire-keeper. He was in the midst of trying to move the children away from the man at the podium. He seemed..stressed...
" AH! FATHER STEPH! YOU'VE FINALLY DECIDED TO JOIN US, I SEE." I was shocked out of my thoughts from the yell, then noticed everyone in the church was staring at me. I guess that means I'm father Steph. Good to know. I make my way to the front, my mind racing as I tried to think of a way to at least try to fix this place.

When I got to the pedestal, the first thing I did was untie the woman, then I took off my jacket and handed it to her. She seemed confused but glad to be getting out of this place. I got up to the pedestal, but before I could try anything, I saw a man try and snack her to keep her from leaving, but luckily she got out of the way. Deciding he'd be prey for later, I put my attention back to the crowd in total.
Now, I don't know much about Christianity and the rules of it, but I did know a few of the ins and outs of satanism.
"Today," I speak over the crowd, to silence them, "I will speak to you about a few of the nine sins." I take a breath, and hope that I remember these correctly. " the most important ones are self-deceit, lack of perspective, forgetfulness, counterproductive pride, and pretentiousness."
I take a pause, to see how the church reacts. The man who was moving the children previously seemed shocked by my words. I continued on.
" all of these sins put together count as follows. You mustn't lie to yourself unless you wish to fail, being able to see that others are not a replica of you, and respecting your neighbors is important. Though you may not agree with their beliefs or actions, that you must be respectful, through all. If you feel to discuss it with them, never put them down for the things they believe in. And in the end, the only person that could make their opinions change is themselves. You must always be able to remember your wrongdoings as so you can make up for them to others, or yourself. It is wise to be proud of your abilities, but a show of arms is never needed. and to be pretentious is advertising that you think others are below you."
" I ask you all to be brutally honest, as no punishment will be bestowed to you. I would like all those who agree with each of these concepts to stand from their seats."
Slowly, I saw a few people stand, maybe two dozen, but all others stay seated. I noticed though the man and all the children had stood up, causing a bit of a disturbance with the parents' section.
"To those who are willing to learn perhaps one or two of these ways, I ask you too, to sit up."
Once again a few people stood up, and in total we had maybe thirty or forty people standing up.
" I ask all of you who are still sitting down to leave this church and find another way into..er...god's heart."
I sighed as they started to get up and leave. I wasn't sure what to say at the end, but I think I've got it now.
As the men and women were filling out of the building, I made my way to the bathroom to quickly change into my regular form. When I came back to the pedestal, the man seemed confused for a split second, then walked over to me.
" I may be an angel, but I can't deny you're pretty cute." He smiled " here, I'll take care of the rest of the session and you can get the kids to their parents, ok?" " uh, y-yeah no problem!" I stutter, shy from being called cute by this pretty man " uh, my names Camius, what's yours?" He smiled again, with a bit of a blush on his cheeks " its Dan. Dan Pulchra "

After everyone had left the church, except me and Dan, he came over and started to chat with me. " so, uh..." he seemed nervous, but I gave him a patient smile to try and calm his nerves. He sighed. "Uh, I'll take care of the church because it's kind of my job, but thanks for taking care of that guy. But, here, take this."Dan handed me a piece of paper with his number on it. "Here. call me sometime." he grinned.

As I was walking back to my apartment, I thought about what happened today. I learned to try and think before I act, I helped a church escape from corruption, (which is exactly against my moral cotton, being a demon and all) and got the number of a cute angel. Overall, a pretty good day.

this is my first attempt at a short story, and I think I did alright, but let me know in the comments. this was done for a school project.

I do not support Westboro Baptist church in any way FYI