All These Years | Camren

You're eight

You're eight years old when you understand the difference between social classes.

Just like any other Saturday morning, you're in the kitchen with your brother,  eating some eggs Benedict that Patrick prepared for you. The fact that someone usually prepares all of your food, serves it, and takes care of the plates afterwards was never a giveaway on how high you were in the social class pyramid. Other things, like the five extra bedrooms in your house and the helicopter your dad owns, didn't make you feel any different either because your best friend, Lucy, had the same things plus a huge boat that even had her name on it. Maybe that was the thing, the fact that everyone around you had the same things or even more than what you had. And those who didn't, have always been members of the family. 

Patrick has been cooking you food since you barely knew how to  chew. Alfred, has been driving you to school and ballet classes since you can remember how to walk. Finally, Maria, she took care of everything else. She made sure everything was spotless and ready for whenever you needed it. She accompanied you to most of your daily activities, she was the person who knew you the most. She was older than Patrick and Alfred, but she gave you the best hugs and made sure you always had a smile on your face.

You haven't seen Maria in a week and you know that she wasn't feeling well the last month, so when your mom calls you to the living room and tells you and your brother that you're going to meet the new cleaning lady you immediately throw a fit and you tell your mom that you don't want a new cleaning lady that you just want Maria. Your mom starts to rub her forehead and then just  says "Maria is gone, Lauren." And you tell your mom that "she can't be gone because she promised she was going to teach me how to knit a beanie and how to make flowers grow in the backyard". You tell her you wish to speak to her on the phone immediately and your mom just says "that will not be possible honey, she's not with us anymore," and you yell back trying to make your mom understand, "that's why I need to call her!" And then Chris looks up from the Nitendo DS game he's playing and blankly says "Lauren, she's dead. She was old, probably died in her sleep, stop crying like a baby and let it go."  Then he just keeps playing his game, as if what he  said didn't just make your heart stop. You look at your mom waiting for her to tell him that he's wrong but she just looks at you and nods, confirming it. You start crying hysterically and your mom wraps you up in a hug. It feels weird, it's not warm and it doesn't calm you down like when Maria does it. She tells you, "Don't cry,  Maria was old and tired and she's in a better place now, resting." She tells you she will always be in your heart and she will watch you from above now. But her words are wrapped in something that you can't decipher because your eight and your heart hurts.

Eventually, you calm down a bit and you're mom tells you the new lady is very nice. You nod your head and tell her that you're ready to meet her now but then your mom tells your brother to pause his game because she need to tell you guys something important.

She starts out by saying that Sinu, the new cleaning lady, has a daughter that will also be staying with her in the small guest house where Maria used to live. You're brother scoffs and says "Why couldn't she have a son instead so I could play with him!" You ignore your brother and immediately ask your mom how old the girl is and if you could show her the new My Little Pony castle you have in your room.

And that's when it happens.

"Kids, Alfred, Patrick and now Sinu are our employees. Which means, they work for us, we pay them so that they help us out a bit and make our lives easier. But in no way should we treat them as our equals or our "friends".

"But Maria was my friend mami-"

"No Lauren, you were young and I knew you wouldn't understand so I let you develop that bond with her but now you're a big girl and you need to realize that these people are not here for that. They are here to work. Do you understand honey?"

You blink a couple of times and then you slowly nod even though your still a bit confused.

"Sinu's  daughter is around your age Lauren, but you are not allowed to interact with her in any sort of way. You need to be professional and show her that you are above her, she's here because her mother is our employee, and eventually she'll probably be one as well, but for now I need you to keep your distance. People like them, usually just want your money, so never trust them, do you guys understand?"

Chris just shrugs his shoulders and continues playing, you nod like a robot and you're mom stands up and walks towards the guest house. You stare at the wall in front of you trying to process what just happened. You hold in the tears because you don't want your mom to be mad at you if she sees you crying. By the time you're mother comes back with a lady and a small girl trailing behind,  your throat feels narrow and you can hear your heart beat inside of your head. You're so distracted with trying to calm yourself down that you barely register that your mom is introducing you.

"This is Chris, he's 12 and the older brother of Lauren over here who's 8 years old."

Your brother just nodded his head when your mother introduced him, so when it's your turn you try to be polite  and you lift your hand to the woman and give her a kind smile as she shakes your hand. Be professional you tell yourself. She smiles back and says  "It is very nice to meet you Miss Lauren, this is Camila, my daughter, she's gonna be 8 soon too, isn't that right Camila?"

The first thing you notice, when the small girl stands closer in front of you, is that she's wearing a My Little Pony shirt and that almost makes you bounce on your feet because it has Rainbow Dash and that's your favorite one. And it's like your mother can tell how excited you are because she gives you a strong look, practically shouting with her eyes for you to calm down.  And so, you stand up straight and wait for Camila to introduce herself officially.

She smiles. A huge, adorable smile accompanied by a small wave. You instantly look at your mom and she just nods, as if you knew what that meant. Be professional. So you look back at Camila and you extend your hand as you say "Nice to meet you Camila." And then, she giggles.

SHE GIGGLES.

As she shakes your hand she gets closer, searching for your eyes and you kind of panic a bit because your mom's watching and your hands are getting sweaty and your heartbeat is going faster and faster and your feeling it go up from your chest to your neck and before it pops out, you let go of her hand and you excuse yourself, very politely by saying you have a lot of homework to finish.

As your leaving, you look back and Camila is looking at you with a small smile on her face and just before you turn around she gives you another one of her small waves and all you can do is look another way and practically run up to your room.

Your eight years old when you've experienced all the symptoms of a heart attack. And yet, the ache in your chest, the burning in your skin and the lack of breath don't stop you from thinking about huge adorable smiles, small waves, and chocolate brown eyes before falling asleep.