I kinda feel not okay today,
but it doesn't really matter because I've said it way to many times
They won't notice that I feel suicidal today,
They won't see through my disguise, I'm dressed in all back hoping all the ugliness doesn't leak.
I don't think I sleep anymore, because I'll cry till 3am.
I don't think I eat as much anymore
I don't think im alive anymore.
I'm always sobbing and crying even when people don't notice it
I think I've lost my passion, to fight.
I talk about it, but I don't think I have the motivation or care to do it.
I remember way to much now, I'm not getting up now.
Is this a phase or reality?
Whatever...
I don't care, I'm mute, I don't have a voice in anything anymore.
It seems like everyone hates me, my paranoia is getting to me.
My audio hallucinations are increasing
I feel mentally unstable
But this will go unnoticed today, I hope.
I miss my father, my step father.
And "mom": I'm not having a good attitude. I'm just laughing at my own suffering because I know I'll never get better.
Not because of anyone,
But because I never wanted to keep my wrist clean or my eyes dry. I'm addicted to depression, it's obivous. So Ill devour it repeatedly and hide it from people that don't need my mess.
It's just me, myself and i..
