lockers // joshler

longing

when its time for dinner, mrs. dun serves us some asian dish i've never heard of.

"yeah, mom is going through one of her phases. last month it was italian. she walked around trying to speak it and we ate spaghetti every other day," josh whispers, picking up some rice with his chopsticks.

"i, uh, i don't know how to use chopsticks," i stutter, staring at his hands as he maneuvers the utensils perfectly.

he looks over at me and smiles softly. "just hold them like pencils. look," he shows me how his fingers grasp the sticks.

i attempt to copy the motion, but all of the rice falls.

he giggles and sets his sticks down. "no, move your thumb here," he reaches over and repositions my thumb, but all i can think of is the sound of his giggling.

love is so strange. and you are still
oblivious as to how much i have.
never have i felt this strongly about a
guy. ever. its so weird, and
i know i've said it already, but im
not sure how to deal with it.
god, i bet i sound like an idiot.

over the course of being at his house, i've been keeping track of all my thoughts, which i plan to leave as notes in his locker when we get back to school.

they're piling up, and i find myself wondering if he'll continue to keep them.