Cuddles | Minizerk-Oneshots

Understand

I wish you would understand,
That I love you,
Not her or anyone,
But you.
You're the one who makes my skies blue,
My sun glow,
The stars shine.
Then again you'd never understand,
Perfect eyes,
Laugh,
Smile,
Body,
Personality,
Life...
You know everyday I wake up just to see you,
But what for,
So I can see you and for you not love me.
However I couldn't tell you I love you,
No that's not what I want.
I'd give up everything for you,
Would love you do the same?
I get angry at myself,
I get angry at you,
Why?
I couldn't answer with reason.
Wanting to curl up in a ball and die. Everyday.
Begging for you to come and hold me, the day that will never come...

I sit whimpering like a sad puppy, reaching out my hand like someone will grab it though no one comes. Battling with my thoughts of should I stay or should I go, wanting to leave my room and come to yours. Will you let me curl up in a ball in your lap? As you whisper comforting words to me, saving me from my own horror filled mind. I want to hear you're soft, deep voice every second of my life, though every word is like a thousand knives into my heart. So gorgeous and kind that's what you are, but you don't know what you're doing to me.

Letting out a cry I hear someone coming close to my room, darting into my bed and covering my face. The door creaks open letting light shine into my dark room "Hey Si, you awake?"
Of course it's you, I want to see you so badly but I want you to leave too. My minds so fucked up!
"Simon?"
Letting out a hum, it's like I feel him smile from the door "Can I turn on the light."
"No." I mumble my voice hoarse,
"Okay." I hear back sounding upset as I hear the door close again.
"Josh." I whimper instantly wanting him back "I need you're embrace."
Flinging my head back and closing my eyes I sob quietly wanting to just jump off this earth.

Something or someone dips down my bed, I freeze and my breathe gets caught in my throat. A pair of arms come round me, one under my legs and the other on my back. I try to stay still but my bodies to weak, reaching up to touch the figure I feel the beard I've learned to love. "Josh?"
"I came to see if you were awake because me and Freya split up... I found the diary Si and I sent you text messages but you didn't reply. Freya found out that I said I loved you more than her so we broke up."
"I'm sorry. Wait you l-love m-me?"
"I think I do, I can't believe I let you do this to yourself." He says sadly pulling me closer to him, I wrap myself round him and let out everything I've been hiding. His soft, gentle hands stroke my back comfortingly "I'm here Si, I'm here. I'm sorry I didn't realise earlier, I've broken you. The precious, beautiful blonde."
"Yours." I cry,
"Mine." He says tightening his grip "I won't ever let you go ever again."
"Do you how long I've wanted this!" I shout making him flinch,
"I'm sorry." He repeats,
I sigh "I shouldn't of shouted that was rude of me."
"It's okay." He replies laying a kiss on my forehead making me feel at peace for a moment, "Would you like me to stay with you?"
"That'd make me happy beyond belief."
He carefully lays me down like I'm a fragile doll and lays next to me with his arms out, I wiggle into them. "You've gotten skinner." He says stroking my now starting to show ribs,
"I haven't been eating as much." I sadly mumble,
His lips touch my neck and I feel like I'm on cloud nine, he's amazing "You're still beautiful."
His kindness makes me almost faint "T-thank you." Feeling myself start to get a little upset that this might not be real I whimper, but this time I'm not alone. "It's okay Si, I promise."
"Be my boyfriend?" I suddenly burst out,
"Is that what you want?"
"More than anything." I say truthfully,
"Of course."
I roll over and he pulls me into a kiss, he holds me close as sparks fly all through my body. I can't believe this is happening, I finally have Josh and I'm his! As we pull away for air...

I wake up.

I'm alone... again. It was all a dream and now I'm back in my shitty life, I start to cry and try to hold back screams of anger. Then the door opens and the light turns on blinding me "Morning Si." I hear,
"Morning." I reply trying to sound normal,
"I made you breakfast." He says,
"Aww thanks Josh."
"You're welcome Babe." He smiles,
I freeze "It wasn't a dream!" I say aloud,
"It wasn't Si, we're together now."
I fly out of bed and jump into his arms, he catches me and passionately kisses me. I cup his cheeks as he holds me tight against him, he pulls away "I love you Simon Minter."
"I've loved you since the day I met you Josh Bradley."
We kiss again as I feel all of my emotions except love and happiness wash away, his hand rests on my chin "Why did I wait so long? You're all I've ever wanted!"
I start to cry happy tears at his words, giggling as he wipes them away before snuggling my head into the crook of his neck. "I don't want to put you down, you're warm." He chuckles,
"Don't then." I giggle "I'm good up here."
"Oh you are?" He says sarcastically,
I laugh and nod "Lucky you're cute or you'd be on the floor."
I stare at him and blush slightly "Funny."
"Stop with the sass mister." He says,
"Sowwy I'll be good." I say in a baby voice,
"Good now lets get you eating." He smiles as we sit on my bed. He insisted on feeding me breakfast like some cringy romance movie but I wasn't complaining, I'm over the moon with life now!