never be alone.

chapter one - stop

aTtEnTiOn : this story will mostly be in keith's pov, i may switch to lance a few times.

aTtEnTiOn #2 : some subjects in this story may be triggering for some. you have been warned.

keith's pov

i slowly stepped away. my heart felt like it was beating out of my chest. my lungs were desperately attempting to get air. i collapsed to the ground. the battle emerged in front of me. i gasped for air as i choked on it. my attempts to get air had led to a coughing fit, leading to choking on it.
i shut my eyes, feeling a sudden wave of nausea and dizziness rush over me. i sat up slowly, holding my head. i gazed at the battle in front of me. my vision blurred in and out for a few seconds. in spite of myself, i managed to wobbly stand up. i felt like shit. not the time to get sick, i thought to myself. just keep going. don't make them disappointed...what am i saying. you're disappointing them anyways.
i desperately shook the degrading thoughts out of my head. i pulled out my bayard and activated my sword. i swallowed, trying to calm my nerves. the nausea and dizziness still remained. i deprived my attention from myself and gave it to the raging war in front of me. i felt bile rise up through my throat. calm down, don't be a fucking disappointment. seriously, why do you think they care? the only reason you're still on this team is because there is no one else. you're still fucking replaceable though. get a grip. why aren't you pushing them away like you always do? you know they will end up rejecting yo-
"keith!" a voice yelled out. i blinked, trying to get a grip of reality. they were just thoughts, not reality. deep breaths-
"KEITH!" the voice yelled louder.
i took a shakey breath and glanced around. the battle was still ongoing. of course it was. why would it have stopped while those thoughts ran through my head?
"KEITH! ARE YOU OK?" the voiced practically screamed at me.
i suddenly felt my chest tighten.
pathetic. you've just been standing here, being useless the entire time. at least your team is actually making an effort. god, you're so useless-
"i-i'm"
i took a deep breath, attempting to steady my voice.
"i'm fine. no need to worry." i managed to get out as i looked up.
why am i so useless? why can't i just fight?
i finally made up my mind to actually make an attempt.
i saw a group of garla making their way towards lance.
lance was practically cornered with them. he desperately shot his gun, trying to keep them at bay.
my features turned determined as i saw this as my chance to prove myself.
i swiftly made my way towards them, slicing a few in the stomach. i used a fighting technique i had learned a while ago to take them all out at once. i kicked one, it flying into a few others, and proceeded to stab all them. my sword went deep into their bodies, creating wounds. my breathing was heavy as i felt a stab in my leg. i turned around to see another garla. i decided to use my garla knife to stab him, since my bayard was stuck in the bodies. i swiftly removed it, it being bloody.
obviously, i just stabbed them.
of course it would be bloody.
i looked over at lance. he stared at me with an unreadable expression.
it's probably disappointment. he wanted you to die. maybe you just should. that would make everyone else hap-
no.
i can't let these thought control m-
you're just scared to admit that it's true. how many times must i say it?
i blinked back tears as lance stared at me.
"let's go." my voice was hoarse as i started to walk away.