Original short stories, one shots, and other things.
Fiction, nonfiction, romance, comedy, drama, BL, basically whatever I feel like writing.
WARNINGS: probably cussing, possibly sexual references, maybe violence, maybe character death, maybe trigg...
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"So, which one of you is the wife?" Popping a chip into his mouth, Mark stared between the two of us like he was asking about the weather or what grade we got on our last final instead of the intimate details of our relationship.
"I don't know, Mark. Which of you is the wife?" Scowling at this idiot, I begin to wonder how we are even friends. Then again, we aren't exactly friends. It's more like friends of a friend who rarely hang out and now I know why.
"What the fuck, dude?! Isn't it obvious or are you blind?" Mark waves a hand dramatically over towards his girlfriend. "She's the girl, not me!"
"So, by your own definition, why the fuck would you think either of us would be a wife?" Pointing between myself and my boyfriend, I try to explain the basics of human anatomy to Mark. "Neither of us have big boobs or a vagina. We can't create a baby and we sure as hell can't pop something the size of a melon out any of our holes. In other words, we're guys with all the necessary guy parts without any desire to wear skirts, put on high heels, or get a sex change."
At this point, Mark's girlfriend is blushing like mad and giggling behind one beautifully manicured hand. Mark's standing with his mouth hanging open, his jaw bobbing like fish out of water. I can practically see the hamster wheels turning in his mind as he comes up with the next genius point for his argument.
"Let me just stop you right there, young man." My sister, who I didn't notice had returned from the bathroom, steps up next to me with a piercing look at Mark. "Please tell me you did not just try to imply that the woman in a relationship is automatically the submissive."
Damn, I almost feel sorry for Mark. Almost. This is a touchy enough subject for me. My noona is ten times worse and very protective of me... whether I need it or not. There's no saving him now. R.I.P. Mark! I'm not sure if you'll be missed but I'll raise a glass in your honor, mostly because I feel I will need a drink after this.
"Well, girls are always the bottom, right." He folds his arms and gives a smug look as if this is a reasonable explanation and he's won. It's kind of sad really.
"Cutie Pie, where did you find this Neanderthal?" Laughing, Noona looks over at me and I know she's not actually amused. That is a laugh of utter disbelief. She faces Mark again with a calculating side glance at his girlfriend next to him. An impish smile spreads across her deceivingly sweet face when she looks him in the eyes. "Have you been living under a rock? There are many women that are the dominants in their relationships and a few that even top their lovers. It's called a strap-on, dear."
Quite used to the way my sister speaks, her comment doesn't bother me but i am enjoying watching Mark squirm. His girlfriend, on the other hand, has a curious glint in her eyes and I have a feeling Mark might just find out how wrong his assumptions are.
"But..." Mark tries to say something but has nothing to follow that. He's shell-shocked from Noona's unabashed statement.
"No. No more from you about this. It's none of your business what these two get up to between the sheets and, frankly, I don't want to know. He is my baby brother. Just like it is none of his business if your pretty girlfriend suddenly bends you over the dining room table to satisfy the curiosity I can see bubbling inside her right now." Crossing her arms, Noona watches in amusement as Mark whips around to stare at his girlfriend in a panic. She's looking at his rounded ass thoughtfully.
"Jazzy!" Mark's voice is dismayed and a bit whiny.
"Time to go home, Baby." Grabbing his wrist, she pulls him away and he follows with his head down, a fiery blush painted on his cheeks.
"There's a lovely adult toy store a few blocks away on 7th Street called 7th Heaven, Jazzy Girl," Noona shouts after them, causing several people in the room to turn towards the departing pair. She rubs her hands together before picking up her glass to take a sip. "That was fun!"
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-a/n- Noona - Korean word for older sister Neanderthal - basically a caveman
I would like to say that there are people who are born male that have no problems being called the wife in the relationship, usually ones that feel more feminine or are transgendered or whatever. In a gay relationship where there are two guys without those inclinations, there is no wife. It is a guy and a guy, no female in sight. It doesn't matter if one is taller or one is adorably cute or one prefers to bottom more than top (and it is often not the one you expect) or they like to flip-flop. It's still two guys that love each other and choose to be together. Boyfriends, husbands, spouses, lovers, there are so many terms that can be used that are either masculine or gender neutral.
Okay, off my little soap box. Really, this short one-shot was a bit fun and I hope Jazzy enjoys shopping at 7th Heaven. Mark might not be walking straight tomorrow. :P How many of you like Noona? are like Noona? wishes they had a noona like this? Any guesses on what Jazzy will do to Mark later?
If you were entertained, informed, annoyed, bored, or anything in between, leave a comment and let me know. No hate please. Don't forget to light up the stars in my sky so they shine brighter than the sun.
