Part Of Me

Journal: When your afraid you feel like running. You don't know where the destination is but you just want to get the away. Away from the stress, the drama, the people the work. Life. Just not knowing whats right and whats wrong. Well, right now that's where my heads at. Afraid and confused.

I am convinced not one person understands. Nobody has been in my place. I am the only person going through this. That's what my mind tells me at least. I shut everybody out, but I mean nothing by it. Lately, that is the reason why my writing needs have increased. I just don't wanna talk to people.

Why? What causes this terrible state that I am in. Maybe its the lac of support. Maybe its the issues I have with my dad. how he takes all of his anger out on me for no apparent reason. Maybe its my school work. Maybe its all of this mixed together.

I feel angry all the time now. Sometime I don't even know why. I just have this urge inside that just feels as if its a ticking bomb. One word and BOOM it will explode. I never act out though. I pretty much act like a normal boy blasting his music out 24/7 all the time like every one else. Its just the not the same typical boy on the inside.

Lately I have realized my grades dropped tremendously. I have just been under so much stress that I can't concentrate. Senior year has been a waste.

Michelle shouted up the stairs dinner is ready. So I shoved my journal up on the top shelf of my closet and headed to the kitchen. Dad was already seated at the table devouring his plate. At least tonight is my favorite, hamburgers with Nathans fries.

Dinner was quiet. Too quiet for the three of us all to be in the same room. After dinner I gave a helping hand to Michelle with the dishes and cleaning up.

"Harry can we talk to you?" Michelle said as she walked over to my dad. She sat next to him and held his hand.

"Why?"

"Your dad and I have been talking and we have something to tell you." This does not sound like a good way to start of the conversation.

"Um.. okay?" I say waiting for someone to break the silence.

"My buisness is being relocated so.. we have to move." My dad confesses.

"WHAT!?!" I say screaming.

"Son I am sorry, but there is nothing we can do"

"No! No! Th.. There has to be something!"

"No, Harry I'm afraid there isn't. This job pays to well, and since Michelle is not working this is our only option. Plus my job is offering to help pay for our new house."

"Well, I don't care. We cant move."

I cant believe this is happening. We cant go! I grew up here, all my childhood memories are here. Hell, this is where mom grew up and raised me. I pace back and forth through the kitchen pulling on the roots of my hair. Fighting that urge

"Wh.. When do we have to leave?"

"A month from Friday."

"Where do we even have to move to."

"New York City."

"Ha.. Um.. Okay well I am going up stairs now."

"No Harry, I'm not done talking to you." I keep walking, I cant bare to hear any more of this conversation.

"Get back here!" He scolds

"Greg. Let him go, this is a lot to

handle." Michelle coaxes him.

I am for once thankful for her. Now I cant just drown my self out in music and block out the world.