(Before you read this, know that the title is referring to the content of the story and how I feel about the work. Sometimes when I feel like crap I imagine myself taking care of Tony Stark. It's weird but I'm like a mum and I just want him to be happy. Also, it's only in the asexual bit cause I wanted to make clear that they are not using sex to get past their emotions, they can be dating or friends, it's up to you. Anyway, read this crap if you want, love ya xx)
I'd known Tony for a few years before the whole "Aliens led by a God from another world have come to destroy everything" thing happened. It was about a year before he'd been kidnapped (millionaire-napped?) by a group of terrorists that I'd first been introduced by one of his clients. They were a very close friend of mine, and after they stabbed me in the back and ditched me, Tony chose to 'stay on my side' as it were. It never got sexual between us, though the cheeky and way over-exaggerated flirting happened regularly.
I confessed to him that I was asexual about half a year after his first 'superhero vs supervillain' battle. He took it pretty well all things considered. He stopped making jokes about us ever 'doing it', which was nice. The stupid flirting never ended though, like some inside joke between us.
And then it happened.
I'd always had it, I just kept it really well hidden. Never self-harmed, didn't cry in front of people, I had the best excuses to get out of things. Apparently so did he.
The PTSD set in after the Battle in Manhattan and it didn't stop. He tried to keep it hidden for a while, but after I'd moved in and Pepper moved out to focus on the company, well, we both got slack. Jarvis didn't help on my behalf either. Apparently Tony had asked him to alert him whenever anything was wrong with me. Evidently screaming into my pillow and smothering hour long crying sessions followed by 8 hour long movie marathons and drinking myself stupid counted as things being wrong.
The same followed for him after weeks of me waking up at 1pm only to find him asleep in his workshop from staying up all night, day-drinking until he passed out, throwing stupid parties and then staring at the ocean below his balcony the whole night and waking me up the few times I could sleep with screaming until his throat was dry in the middle of the night.
We weren't ok. That much was clear.
I moved out of my room after a few months of this. We couldn't be left alone, so we took it upon ourselves to always be together. The thing about overly compassionate people is, we want everyone else to be happy all the time, even if we have to stop being sad to do it. Tony couldn't sleep? Fine. I stayed in his work area with him watching movies on my laptop until it looked like I was gonna pass out. I was crying and couldn't find a reason why? Tony stopped whatever he was doing and we put on a movie or he read me a book or we'd dance in the kitchen. Whatever it took to get my mind off it.
We would find ways to help each other by whatever means, because when I was about to pass out watching movies, he'd make me go to bed and I refused to go unless he came too. When I was crying for no reason he would look for things to make me happy, which in turn, he realised existed too. We were some twisted type of support group for each other.
It wasn't long term, we both knew that, but at least it stopped the both of us from doing something stupid.
When we both had good days, which were rare, but welcome, we spent out of the house for as much as we could. Make memories we could look back on and want more of. Experience things that we forgot existed for a while. I kept the pictures on my phone and sent every one to him so we could always look at them.
On days we both felt like shit we'd lay in bed talking, crying, talking and crying, looking up doctors and 'cures' and crap on my phone. We'd put on a movie, usually a comedy, and look up bad fan fiction which we'd read out loud until we felt awkward or we burst out laughing. Anything to feel anything other then bad.
We protected each other, kept each other safe. Whether they meant from ourselves or something else all depended on the day. We had a little saying that we both liked to hear.
Everything is crap all the time, but that doesn't mean you are.
I don't know. It just worked. Sometimes you get sick of 'it'll all be ok' and 'it'll get better'. Cause it all feels like BS when you feel like shit.
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Asexual!Reader Storys
FanfictionThere is a serious lack of Asexual reader stories out there, so I wrote one myself. Ch 1: You come out to Deadpool. Ch 2: Tony Stark is depressed. You are depressed. It's sad. It's bad. Read it if you want. Ch 3: Part one(?) of a series of one-shot...
