Devil Wears Prada: Songfics

Tonight I Wanna Cry

A/N: I am new to writing this type of fic. All images are from Pinterest or fan pages on Facebook.

I do not own a single thing of DWP. I don't profit from any of this. No copyright issues intended. 

I hope you guys like this!

Much Love,

Donna

Stephen left me a few months before Paris. I couldn't stop thinking about it. My world was turned upside down. Knowing it was going to happen wasn't the worst part, neither was my children. My children were hardly ever the subjects of my divorces or the media backlash surrounding them. The real issue had nothing to do with my feelings about Stephen. I mean yeah, I did regret letting another "father figure" slip out of the life of my twins. What better way to quiet my struggles and strife than staring blankly at the television and drinking an entire bottle of wine?

I'm alone in this house tonight. I have got the TV on, the sound turned down and a bottle of wine. There are pictures of you and I on the walls around me, a constant reminder of the way that it was and could have been, surrounding me.

Paris Fashion week starts in two days and Nigel, Serena, Emily, Andrea and I will fly out tomorrow. Although Emily is or was rather my first assistant, she was not able to anticipate what I wanted or needed. Call me "Ice Queen, Dragon Lady or a Bitch" but, without telling Emily, I promoted Andrea to first assistant this morning. I told her, "Andrea, you've been promoted to the first assistant. Now go tell Emily. That's all." She stood there, mouth open. I knew she was surprised, I didn't blame her. I would be surprised if I were to be in her shoes. "Close your mouth, Andrea, we are not a Codfish. Seriously Andrea? By all means, move at a glacial pace you just know how much it thrills me. That's all."

I sat there for another 2 1/2 hours on the couch lost in thought. It wasn't until after I polished off the bottle of wine that I decided to drag myself upstairs to fall asleep. Even in my dreams all I seemed to do is think, is what could happen if I let my true feelings out? I never truly loved him nor, did I love the twins father, James. Though I had respect for James. However, aside from my children, there will only be one person I truly loved. The only question was, did she feel the same.

Halfway through fashion week and she left me. She was in the car with me and I said something to her she didn't like. I don't remember what I said because I was distracted by the look in those beautiful brown eyes. They were filled with so much emotion. Among the hurt and sadness in her eyes, something familiar. Something familiar and yet hard to place. Then there were those words. The words she said were for the most part a blur. However, it was the words that were almost inaudible to my ears, that pierced my heart the most as she walked out of my life. Those words were, "God, I love you Miranda but, why do you have to be such a Bitch?" Then she was gone.

It has been a few weeks since that day in Paris, and my emotions have never been so strong and have never been hard to handle, even when I was pregnant with raging hormones. I am my usual "Dragon Lady" persona at work and it's only my kids that keep me happy. I know it will get easier to get a handle on myself. Things like this can be a Godsend if you think about it. With a few glasses of wine, I think if I actually have a good cry it will help me immensely. It was with that the tears started to flow.

I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show, I thought that being strong meant never losing my iron-clad control. Right now though I am drunk enough to let go of my pain. To hell with my silly pride, I'll let it fall like rain from my eyes. Tonight I just want to cry. To let my tears fall and to build myself up again.

I sat there for at least a couple of hours. Just having tear after tear fall from my eyes. You know, for once, it actually felt good saying, to hell with my pride. However, there was still an empty space in my chest. I still felt saddened on the inside. I wonder what could ease the pain? A song maybe? Reading love letters I wrote to Andrea once I realized what I felt for her? For now, I will weather the storm. I will weather the storm because the best is yet to come.

Would it help if I turned a sad song on? "All By Myself" would sure hit me hard now that she's gone. Or maybe I could unfold some letters from my old lost love, yellow with age, memories of a love past. From experience, I know It's going to hurt before it gets better but I'll never get over her by hiding this way.

After listening to the song, "Tonight I Wanna Cry" by Keith Urban, I felt a hell of a lot better after crying for an hour or two. It gave me sudden clarity that I, Miranda Priestly, "The Ice Queen" of the fashion world was going to move mountains to make Andrea realize I really do love her. It was time to go big or go home, and I, Miranda Priestly, was going to win over the one and only, Andrea Sachs.