recollection [carl grimes]

chapter three

❞ i know you love to fall ❞

I HAD NOT SPOKEN to Carl since the incident or whatever I should call it happend. I don't know if I'm avoiding him or if it's him that's avoiding me.

I was currently walking around Alexandria, hoping to find Carl and to speak with him. It's been a few days and I hope that we could talk about what happend.

Once I saw him, I saw him talking with another girl, who I believed was Enid. It looked like they were fighting or arguing about something and it did not look pretty.

Slowly I walked towards them and I could hear their raised voices.

"Can you hear yourself?! That's stupid!" Carl exclaimed, his body tensed and his expression was something I had never seen on him before.

Not wanting to intereupt them once I realised the depth of the argument, I slowly backed away from them and walked the other way.

I knew that Carl would talk to me, sooner or later and maybe it would be best if he tried talking to me first.

•••

A FEW HOURS later, the front door was slammed shut and my eyes furrowed in confusion. It was when I heard a annoyed sigh that I knew who it was.

"Carl?" I said, sitting up from the couch that I was sitting on and walking up to him.

"Don't." He said, backing away.

"What's wrong, Carl?"

He backed away from me even more, not even looking at me and my eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

I gently placed my hand on his shoulder, feeling the softness of his grey flanel shirt but instantly he shoke it off and ran up the stairs.

A few moments later, the sound of his bedroom being shut was heard and it made my body jump.

Not knowing if it would make a difference or if I would get anwsers on what was wrong with Carl, I walked out of the house and searched for Enid.

My eyes searched the envoirment of Alexandria as I moved down the street, then I spotted the brown haired girl.

I moved towards her and she turned towards me, rolling her eyes once she saw me and I could hear her sigh.

"Hey" I said gently "you are Enid right?"

"Yeah. And you are Emma." She sounded irritated, if it was because of me or something else I did not know but it felt personal.

"I saw you talking to Carl earlier today and he's not himself. He came home and were angry. He was cold towards me as well which is not like him at all." I sighed "do you have any idea why he's acting like this?"

"Are you blaming me?!" Enid stood up from her position on the bench she sat on while she spoke in anger.

"No of course not!" I began "I just thought you might now what's going on, since you were the last person he spoke to before coming home. At least that I know off."

"There's a lot you don't know, Emma. And maybe he just don't want you around him anymore. Maybe he's finally seeing the real you...the killer."

"Wait what?"

"I know what you did, Emma. You killed that boy, without hesitation. I don't know how you managed to do it, but you did. And I think you know just like I do, that Carl don't like killers."

My eyes got wide at her words and I backed away from her, putting my hand up.

"Y-You have no idea! No idea at all to why I did what I did! How do you even know that?! Nobody knew that!" My words were shaky, so was my body and tears were building up.

I instantly walked away from her, not wanting to hear her explanation. The tears were rolling down my cheeks as I ran up the street towards the house.

Once I reached the house, I ran up the stairs and into the bathroom. Me and Carl was sharing the bedroom, and he didn't want talk to me.

My back slid down the locked door, tears rolling down my cheeks and my hand covered my mouth, not wanting anyone to hear my cries.

If Enid told the truth about Carl knowing about what I did, it would make sense to why he didn't want to talk to me. He couldn't even look at me and I understood why. I am a monster and maybe he finally saw who I really am.

I am not the same girl I once was, and I would never be the same.