Imperfect Perfection

<Nostalgia>

⭐️Freya's P.O.V⭐️
Hi,my name is Freya Autumn and currently I'm going for therapy. So according to my therapist,I need to let things go. According to my therapist,I'm angry and I've been suppressing it. I go for therapy everyday and I have to say,it has really helped. I mean Christmas was good and all,but I needed this. It was a new year, two years ago, I was just a nerd. Two years ago,Gray Parker was just the "golden boy" to me. What was he to me now?,well I didn't know. I ended things with him and then there was the "I still love you" text that I never replied till date. My therapist says I still love him and care,care,yes of course I do. But love,I wasn't really sure of that.
      You know I've heard about people falling out of love and I never believed it,but maybe this was it. Daniella and I were taking baby steps. We exchanged memes and texts,I know she wanted more than that,but I didn't even know to pour out my heart to her like before. Aunt Sylvia moved to London with Brad and to be honest,I hated their decision. But atleast now I had a reason to go to London. My Dad?,well he had free time now,and he even spoke of movin since we were financially stable,but too many memories lived in these walls. Memories of my mum,aunt Sylvia,Gray,Daniella,Drew and Kimmy. Well,Drew Daniels was a topic I didn't even want to visit,Aunt Sylvia and Daniella had filled me in. I didn't even know he felt that way about me as friends. We dated,but partly because I couldn't remember Gray. Still, we hadn't talked since August and if I'm sure,it's January.

"What of you Freya?,how are you?",my therapist said dragging back from my thoughts.
"I'm holding up,you know I practiced your letting go theory. I sent Daniella a throwback picture of us",I said playing with my hand. "What did she say?","she called",I answered. "And???",my therapist said smiling. "I didn't pick up",I said looking at her. Her smile fell. "Why not?",she asked worried.
"I don't know how to speak to her without remembering,without mentally remembering not to trust her. It's either I trust her or not,there's no in between"
"It doesn't need to be yes or no,or black or white. Simply live ,there's beauty in that Miss Freya",my therapist said. Her name was Sunshine and it was symbolic for her character because after every session,I felt new like how you feel on the first day of summer.

My moods these days were plain. Nothing intense,just random feelings. It was sickening. And maybe the therapist was helping and maybe it was making things worse.

**************
I was soon to be a graduate. That scared me,a lot. I didn't even know what I wanted to do with my life,i literally spent a year with the loss of memory of just one person. That does a lot to you. And I know it doesn't look like much,but it does. I had registered for a few colleges and a few wanted me,but a part of me wanted to do something else. I walked to the school's notice board and it read "Career fair on thursday",I wasn't coming for that. "Hey!",Bree said walking up to me,oh Bree and I talked a few times,she went to the same therapist as me. So we ran into each other a lot. I have no idea what happened to her those three months she was away,but it definitely changed her.
"Hey Bree,career fair?",I asked. "No,ew!",she said laughing revealing her teeth gap. "I have a date on Thursday",she said walking with me. "Oh. That's nice",I said wondering why she was telling me this. "Oh I hope no hard feelings?",she stopped and looked at me. "What?",I said stopping too. "Gray and I, we're back together. I know you guys had a thing and I hope no hard feelings." I just looked at her,"not at all,I wouldn't really call it a thing,it was almost a thing. It's fine. I'm happy for you guys",I lied before walking away. I was right,we were almost a thing and our almost will always haunt me. Maybe Gray had moved on,I didn't think it would be this fast,but he had.

"What of you Freya?,how are you?",my therapist asked me after every lay down of how I felt about everyone,every session. No session was complete without this question. I looked up in tears. "I was going to lie and say I'm fine. But what's the point?,I'm sad and angry and partly because ya,I have mood swings or maybe there are just so many reasons why"

"Freya,I'm going to ask you this again,how are you?"

"I don't know","Bree is back with Gray,did you know that?"
She nodded. "Yaa,I thought so,I didn't expect him to move on so fast,but here we are"

"What's your most reoccurring feeling,Freya?"
I laughed weakly,"Nostalgia,Mrs Sunshine. Nostalgia"

A/N
Hey everyone,hope everyone is good?
I hate that I don't update often,I'll work on it.
Please,vote and comment. Ask questions if you have any.

Love,
Belle❤️❤️❤️