You Deserve To Be Saved (Destiel)

I left alone.

I was anxiously waiting in the hospital. I couldn't keep still, obviously. I was pacing around and shaking and getting all panicky. And it took ages before a nurse came out and told me what was going on.

"Dean?" I heard someone call from behind me. I quickly spun around.

"Kayla?" Before I could say anything more, she ran towards me and pulled me into a hug. My chin was placed on the top of her head and we were both crying on eachother.

"You're okay Dean, thank God you're okay!" She kept saying. I couldn't stop crying though.

"What about Cas? Is Cas okay?" I finally said, pulling away from the hug but still having my arms wrapped around her.

She wiped away her tears and looked me dead in the eyes.

"I think you better come to my office." She grabbed my hand and pulled me through a long, winding corridoor and down 2 flights of stairs before typing a passcode into a big brown door and pushing it open. Once I was sat down, she began.

"Cas is fine." I sighed with relief at what she was saying. "We managed to stabalise him and he's alright." I was smiling so much and breathing really heavily. "For now."

"What do you mean 'for now'? He's okay. He's gonna be okay because he's always okay he can't not be okay he has to be okay for me he has to be."

"You won't be saying that after I tell you what caused all of this?" She explained.

"Huh?" My face scrunched up and a sea of confusion washed over me.

"We've done loads of tests and we're pretty sure that what happened wasn't just 'random' or an 'accident'."

"Okay, so what was it?" I was so confused and angry.

"The test results I have show something really bad." She opened a white file and was flicking through and then the tears slowly started falling again. My eyes were filled with them, but they didn't quite fall.

"Tell me, Kayla! What's going on?" I tried to shout and I tried to be angry with her. But I couldn't. I was too weak.

"The test results show that he has an illegal substance in his body. Dean, how long has he been taking drugs for?" Kayla asked.

"Drugs? Dru- what drugs? Why has he bee- how did he? What drugs? I didn't know, drugs. Oh my God, drugs. DRUGS?" I finally had the power to shout and to be angry. And as my body was breaking down, the phone rang.

Kayla answered and spoke in her nurse language and looked at me as she hung up. And everything was silent.

"He's awake." She said. "Come on."

"I don't want to see him." I harshly said, gritting my teeth.

"Dean you have to. How are you ever gonna get closure?"

"Closure from what?" Kayla began to step towards me but I backed off.

"The results show that he's been taking a class A drug. One thing that we can't find out is which one. Hell, it could be all of them. But we do know that he's got a lot of it in his system. Do you know what this means, Dean? Do you understand this?" She asked.

"He's gonna die?" I asked. Kayla slowly nodded at me and my body froze.

"I'm so sorry Dean. I'm so completely and utterly sorry. I'm really, really, really, really sorry." And then, I let her hug me. I collapsed in her arms.

"Not again! Oh God, not again!" I was screaming in her arms as she rocked me back and forth. "Why does this keep on happening to me? Why? Please tell me why? Oh no! Fuck!"