WHY

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C H A P.  o n e

shin yeo reum

you might have known me as "the new girl", the one who moved here from living abroad in the us for about 15 years of my life, since my father was offered a job at park enterprises, a company owned by one of your friends family.

or the "non-korean korean girl", the name i earned by students at our school after they discovered my inability to speak korean despite being of a korean heritage.

oh, possibly the "anti-social/awkward girl" who was incapable of spiking up a conversation, or any human contact in general. the girl who listened to music, not only to lose herself into the tunes of her favorite artists but to avoid any interaction with the outside world.

or yeoreum, just yeoreum.

well anyway, that doesn't matter.
what matters is that today was the first day of school. and if there was anything i hated more than wet socks or crowded spaces, it was coming into a massive building packed with judging stares of students, whispering about you while you sit on that vacant seat by the window everyone left deserted.

sucks, i know.

but today wasn't as bad as i had imagined it.
in fact, it was light years better than what my little cinema of anxiety playing in my head predicted.
well, i always do take things overboard.

but today, today was special.
because students were nice, they helped when i couldn't find the way to each classroom, despite the language barrier.
and teachers spoke to me in their broken english just for me to understand.
and now i'm able to fluently introduce myself in korean.
everything was going well & swell.

haha, too cringey? sorry.

but the best thing happened yet.
i found a friend. her name was myeongguk.
she was kind and considerate. i was surprised she hung out with someone like me.
she was also quite popular among my grade which shocked me more.

and turns out it she was your younger cousin.

and when you asked her what your mom was cooking for dinner, that's when i saw you for the first time.

and boy, were you attractive.

uhm..

yea, not like i cared anyway.

anyway, after she told you, you looked at me.
i didn't know what you were thinking about or why you stared for so long but then your eyes met mine and then-

you smiled.

and i don't know why but suddenly my mind lost control of my actions and my smile probably looked like i was being impaled and i forgot if i coughed in your face or not but i'm sorry.
sorry for being such an awkward person.
and for making our first encounter the most weirdest thing. ever.

geez, i wanted to introduced myself but it probably sounded like "i'm shivlamdbjhs"
but at least.. at least i made you laugh.
and guess what, i find your laugh way more attractive than your smile.

oh sorry, was that too creepy?

whoops, my bad.

but how did you do that? make my heart beat as if it were about to zoom right out of my chest?
or paralyzed me just by your gaze, or your smile?
i tell you i was seconds away from melting in embarrassment when i heard your laugh.

until i heard the sound of the bell.
and with that all of my senses returned and i was able to scratch my elbow since it had been such  a nuisance since this morning. um, forget i said that.

but then you spoke.
"i'm jungkook" you said. and with that i lost the ability to speak. so i just smiled and waved while you smiled back, which was dumb since we were barely a meter apart.

holy pickles. we were barely a meter apart. uh, excuse me while i go cry in a corner. did you notice how i lost my mind?

i hope not.

but you probably did.

damn.


though without a second passing by you turned your back to reunite with your classmates, and i stood there, probably as red as hot chilli pepper.

uhm yea.

don't mind my word selection.

so anyway,

jungkook,

how'd you do that?

how do you shake up my heart like that?




























hmm, let's see where this goes.
-andie

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