Equestria Dreams

Chapter 1 ~ broken

I ran, I ran as fast as my legs would go. I didn't know exactly where I was going but I knew I just had to get away.

the words repeated rapidly in my head torturing my mind, fat.. ugly.. loner.

the tears streamed down my face, at this point I couldn't handle the pain

those girls had bullied me since the 4th grade and now I've had enough.

as I ran, I remembered my mum won't be home until late tonight so I'd have the entire house to myself. I thought maybe tonight would be the night I take my own life.

I had thought of doing it for such a long time, but never had the guts to even attempt it, at that moment everything just seemed pointless and painful. I thought how no one would miss me or even care If i was gone.

I had very little friends and family,  but who would love an ugly piece of trash like me anyway. so if I were to die tonight the only person who would care would be my mother, but only because I would stench up her house with my rotting lifeless body.

I ran around a familiar corner with my bag jumping up and down on my back, I was about a block away from my house.

I wiped the tears from my face and picked up the pace, I just wanted to get home and end this.

suddenly a grin appeared on my face, it'll be over soon, all the pain, the torture I won't have to suffer anymore. 

I won't have to wake up every morning feeling like I'm living a nightmare, I won't have to feel this repetitive need to disappear from society because I'd be gone.

I turned the corner and saw my small but comforting house. I ran up to the gate and jumped over it getting my pants caught on the top point I pulled and ripped a hole in my only school pants.

I heard laughter and looked up to see 7th graders laughing at me, I took the broken piece of fabric from the top of the fence and put it into my pocket and continued to my door step with my head down.

as I opened my door I threw my bag to the floor and collapsed beside it going into a motion of heavy sobs.

I sat there for at least an half a hour crying crouched onto the floor then i decided to do what I intended and end my life.

I stood up and wiped the tears from my face and bravely headed up stairs with mumbled thoughts going through my mind.

how was I going to do it?

I entered my room and looked around for my lamp.  when i saw it, I lifted it up and saw my dirty 2 inch blade. I picked up the blade and stared at it for a moment before heading towards my bathroom, I placed my blade next to my sink and looked at myself in the mirror. there were black marks under my eyes from my mascara.

I looked at my blade again, and started to tremble. I was terrified, I had self harmed so many times before it had become my hobby but this time felt different.

I decided to have a look on the internet for other ways to end my life, I was so small minded I only new one way to end my life so I hoped someone, somewhere could help me and tell me a faster and less painful way.

I was so scared, I couldn't get myself to cut my wrists this time I had to find another way to end my life.

I logged onto yahoo and typed in the question.

it didn't take long before an anonymous user responded with~

please don't do this to yourself, your life might seem pointless and lonely now but it will get better soon My sweet.

you don't have to go through with this to be happy or to be at piece, look I might have a solution for you.. check out this episode of My Little Pony Friendship is Magic Season 1 Episo…: http://youtu.be/boNkWQm4Gvw I assure you it'll help, stay strong beautiful.

I read the response 3 times before finally giving in and clicking onto the link.

at first I was surprised with what I was watching I mean ponies, why would they suggest ponies. this is a just kid show, but I kept watching and with every second of the episode I felt a little bit better.

then the episode finished and I looked up, I took a breath and felt a tear fall down my face. it was strange though it wasn't a tear of sadness it was a tear of relief, a tear of happiness.

I looked at my blade that I had been holding and dropped it to the ground. and the strangest thing happened

I laughed

I generally laughed

I was so happy I felt the need to laugh

this wasn't just a show

this was another way of life

another way of living

I was hooked