Half Bad // Harry Styles

Chapter 19

♡ chapter 19 - Harry ♡

            Love has always been a foggy subject to me. It's never quite made since the way most people explain the works of it. I mean, how do you love? Aside from your heart, how can you listen to any of it? How do you know? How do you feel? The basic ordeal seems to be quite obvious, especially the way it's always portrayed in movies and television shows. But when it's an actual experience, you almost get the hang of the complete mess that is love.

            I had fallen in love before.

            Or at least I think I have.

            Her name was Annabelle. Her soft, golden locks had trailed down to her waist in loose, natural curls. Her bright, icy blue eyes had been the first thing to reel me in, aside from her obvious good looks. Not only was she beautiful, but she was kind. And generosity is something you didn't find too often in the world we live in today. She talked to me when no one else would even shoot me a second glance.

            I used to think people who spoke of love were delusional, incompetent bastards desiring attention. But at the age of thirteen is when Annabelle enters my life and twisted it in her soft, small hands. Her hands were always soft, which is something I very much envied considering nothing but callouses bathed my palms. But she never seemed to mind the roughness of my hand when I held hers.

            Like most cliché love stories, our relationship was forbidden. Darkness and purity were never meant to collide, but I was never meant to fall in love with such an angel. Annabelle was the halo I would never have, the white wings I would never gain. She was the light, and I was the evil. I didn't want to hurt her, and I never did—physically.  But her two older brothers always caused us much mental harm.

            They didn't like me—Henry and Zach. They knew my destiny, and I couldn't convince my love for their sister to them—they wouldn't let me. I tried to show how much I cared for her, but they would always hurt me in the end. Her father never accepted my presence either. He would shun me, just like her brothers. It was three against one, and neither Annabelle nor I had a say in their authority.

            I was evil, after all.

            One day after school, I asked Annabelle to meet me by our oak tree. It had officially become our sacred place, a peaceful area her brothers nor her father could disturb or find us in. It was close to a little river, one where Annabelle and I had swam before. She was so elegant, so beautiful, and it made me wonder why she would ever want to be with someone like me. Someone dark, cold, soulless. It didn't make the bit of sense why she was attracted to me in the least way. I've been told I'm handsome, but my personality completely demolishes that partial appeal. Shouldn't it?

            I had been leaning back in the grass, my face angled towards the sky. I loved the sun, the energy it let off. It was yellow, a happy color. Sometimes people need reminders of the happy things in the world, and to me, the sun was one. Most people hate the heat, but I like to feel alive. It's an odd thing, one Annabelle always made fun of me for. I didn't mind. She was adorable when she joked around.

            Footsteps were then becoming audible from the sidewalk over the hill. I lifted my head, my eyes peeling open to search for Annabelle to appear. But then I squinted, realizing there were more than one pair of feet heading this way. My breath hitched in my throat out of nervousness, my heart hammering in my chest as I leaped up. I climbed up the tree a few branches, just to see down the hill—but I wish I hadn't.