Unexpected

Chapter Twenty

Stars, he was such a coward.

He'd been sitting in his car for almost two hours, trying to work up the courage to walk down the block, turn the corner, and climb the many steps up to Cinder's apartment. The only break he'd taken from sitting in his car had been to go the bathroom and get a coffee at the nearest café. It hadn't actually been very close, since they'd been to the nearest café together and Kai hadn't been quite ready yet to face those memories without her at his side. He'd never seen Cinder come back from work, but he was sure that he must have missed her during his coffee-bathroom break, because he'd memorized her work schedule while they were dating and he knew—he knew—that she would have come home by now.

Stars, he was such a stalker.

Kai rubbed his sweaty palms on his pants, a constant reminder of why he hadn't gone in yet, despite knowing she must be home. The energy spike he'd gotten once landed and safely away from Levana had been gone since he'd arrived on this street. His manic driving to get here was laughable now.

Cinder didn't want to see him, let alone talk to him or even return the many texts he'd sent her. Kai was, once again, desperately waiting for text messages back from someone he cared about. But unlike the situation with Thorne, Kai knew he had to tread carefully with Cinder. He had screwed everything up so badly and he knew it.

The past three months had haunted him while in Venice. The seclusion of the gondola rides he'd taken with Levana reminded him of a twisted version of every romantic moment he'd had with Cinder. The abundant shops with the masks that they sold year-round for the carnival season had mocked him from their displays. They had whispered Masquerade Ball at him in Italian, even though he'd never even learned a word of the language. Meal upon meal of pasta, meats, and specialty desserts had made him want to call Cinder and laugh with her about how full his stomach was. And the architecture. Great stars, Cinder would have loved the architecture.

But there was nothing now. He had ruined everything.

Hitting the dashboard once, he tried to jolt himself back to the task at hand. He had ruined everything, but he could—no, he would—fix it. And he couldn't do that on the phone if she continued to ignore him. He had to go in person. It was too bad that the streets were so much different than the windy, water-filled alleys of Venice. If only he could show up on a gondola boat with rose petals strewn inside, singing some sort of Italian romance ballad that would make any girl want do nothing else but jump into the boat with the guy. The thought annoyed him. Those guys had it so easy.

Kai glanced at the back of his car. He had done his best to make a grand romantic gesture, but now that he was ready to leave the car, twenty bouquets of roses really didn't seem like an ideal thing to carry all on his own. Not only was he a coward and a stalker, but he was a privileged idiot too, having let Nainsi and some of her secretary fans load his car for him. He could manage maybe four at once. That was still a pretty good amount of bouquets for an apology, wasn't it? Then again, he'd never really planned on apologizing this profusely to a woman before. Hence, twenty bouquets.

Maybe, on second thought, that was going overboard too. Maybe Cinder would think he was being too showy, or acting too "rich." He really was an idiot, wasn't he? She hated when he bought her things. She probably just hated gifts in general too. Slamming the driver door, he opened up the back and decided on just three bouquets of different colors. It was manageable enough to carry, and didn't look overly ridiculous either. He walked slowly, reciting the speech he'd crafted carefully. It wasn't as full of declarations of love as he had imagined it would be, but it was raw and real and painful. It was a risk, but it was the truth, and that was what Cinder needed now, not some glossed-over version of what he wanted her to hear.