Rainbow Reflection

Chapter 12

Harley:

I struggle with the seatbelt for a moment before it releases and I can scramble from behind the steering wheel before racing into the barn slamming the door behind me. It hits me then and I cover my mouth with both hands as I begin screaming and sobbing in anguish. Slowly I collapse against the inside of the door, my body in a cramped uncomfortable position. I wrap both arms around my legs pulling my knees up against my chest as I bury my face against my legs and scream.

"Nonononono!" My throat hurts and I gasp for breath but I am unable to stop myself, on and on I scream. Part of me recognises I am hysterical and I am wasting time I should be using to pack my belongings and then get the hell away from here but I can't pull myself together. Finally the inevitable happens and I vomit bringing back the wallaby I had eaten in cat form. I retch until there is nothing left in my stomach and I am left gasping for breath.

I crawl away from the mess I have made and into the square of hay bales that Drew had used to make a 'house' for me. There is barely enough room to stand upright and the floor space is only the size of two inflatable double mattresses but inside the tarp-covered hay it is warmer. I crawl onto our bed and pull his side of the bedcovers against my face as I sob brokenly. I can still hear the echoes of the rifle shots, still hear the bullets ricocheting off trees near me. I cry until my throat feels raw and my eyes feel gritty, until there is nothing left inside me and I feel myself start to drift off to sleep. And I remember ...

I notice that the winter sun is shinning and there's no breeze today as I walk outside the barn and head for the spot where I can look out at the neighbouring pastures. There is the glitter of frost on the open fields and I push my hands deeper into the pockets of my big hooded jacket thankful for it's warmth. I turn my head and listen as Drew walks up the slope towards me, I can hear his boots crunching on the rocky ground and wonder how he ever managed to hunt well enough to feed me while I was ill. I smile as I place a hand on the small mound that is my growing kitt. There is no bleeding today and I have felt him move strongly several times this morning. Drew tells me I am having a boy and I don't care if it is a boy or a girl, I only want a healthy baby after all the trouble I have been having.

There are soft noises directly behind me and then Drew is slipping his arms around me and resting his chin on top of my shoulder, his breath brushing against my ear as he breathes. I lean my head against his soaking up the easy affection and bodily contact greedily. Ever since I had relented in my resentment of his spending time with Hank and Mutto Drew had become very devoted to me only leaving as was necessary to provide the copious amounts of fresh meat I needed.

I feel Drew's hands move down to cup the slight swell of my stomach, and once again worry over the smallness of my baby bump fills me. According to Drew I have about eleven or twelve weeks to go before the baby is due. And yet in the time since I came close to losing my baby my stomach has made very little noticeable growth. I know my breasts have become larger and more sensitive but still my stomach is small with only a few faint pink tracings showing where the skin is stretching.

"How is my beautiful wife feeling this morning?" Drew asks softly.

"Pretty good," I answer quietly. "I slept well once I did fall asleep." I don't mention it was his absence while he was away hunting that worried me. We have been over that several times and all it does is cause arguments between us and I don't want that. I don't want anything that will wreck this peaceful morning.

"How does scrambled eggs sound for breakfast?" Drew asks as he moves away from me and I am left feeling cold as the peace between us becomes strained.

"You got eggs?" I ask surprised.

"Eggs, milk, bread and fruit juice," Drew says happy as I turn towards him with a smile.