haven ; 𝐛. 𝐛𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐬 , 𝟏

004. first morning

FOUR—FIRST MORNING
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I WOKE EARLIER than usual the next morning, a fact that made me want to smash my head into a wall. After talking through the darkest hours of the night, it should have been painful to open my eyes and get up out of bed. But for a reason I couldn't find, I was fine. Perhaps my mind was a little fuzzy, but other than the usual mandatory stretches, I was able to pad down the stairs and into the kitchen.

Despite my early morning, my...guests seemed to have woken up a few hours prior. When I stepped into the room, Sam looked up, smiling. "You've still got the bedhead of a bear, I see," he grinned. His eyes, albeit bright with his upturned lips, were clouded with sadness.

I rolled my eyes. "You haven't been back for twelve hours and you're already insulting me." I flicked his shoulder as I walked by, heading for the Keurig coffee machine. With a once-over of the open-concept kitchen and living room, I notice that the third man, Bucky, is missing. "Where'd he go?" I asked, putting in a single cup of coffee into the machine.

Steve smiled apologetically. "He's not accustomed to meeting new people very often. His mind, it's..." he trailed off and searched for the word in the empty air in front of him. "Let's just say he's been through a lot throughout the years. Anyone with his life experience is bound to have trust issues," he finished with a grim expression on his face, lips pursed.

"That's a nice way of putting it," Sam said.

As I wrapped my hands around a fresh, steaming hot cup of coffee, I flicked my eyes to the hallway leading to the bedrooms and bathroom. "Okay, well, you still haven't answered my question." Dipping my head in the direction of the hall, I asked, "Did he go in there?"

Steve nodded, wringing his hands together. "He said he was going to take a shower if that's okay?"

I shrugged. "It's no skin off my back," I replied. It was then that I noticed the lack of food in front of the boys. "Do you guys want anything to eat?" I offered.

"I'm fine, thanks," Steve decline politely as Sam spoke up:

"Actually, Elda, I'm so glad you asked. I was waiting for you to make your famous eggs and hashbrowns," he smirked, earning a pointed look from me.

"Hm," I mocked a thoughtful expression, "turns out, the skillet's broken. Looks like you're on your own, Wilson."

Sam got up from the table and headed for the pantry. After a moment of silence, he calls out over his shoulder, "You're still eating Lucky Charms? El, you're twenty-six."

I furrowed my eyebrows. "And?" I muttered with a warning tone. "Am I supposed to take offense to that comment?"

He shook his head. "No, I'm just...it's good to see that you haven't changed much."

I took a step away from the counter and tucked my hair behind my ears. "Yeah, not much has happened ever since Cade left." I tried to ignore the pang of sorrow that tugged at my gut with the mention of my brother. Steve looked as if he was going to ask about him, but I guessed he could see the emotion on my face and steered clear. After a few moments of dead air pass between us, I shake my head to clear the stupor. "I'm gonna go check on him," I announced quietly, "see if he needs any towels or anything."

Without waiting for an answer, I found myself leaving the kitchen and making my way to the bathroom on the first floor. Unsure of what I'd find, I kept my distance from the closed door. I couldn't hear the water running; hopefully, he was already done and I would avoid any kind of awkward situation.

Softly rapping my knuckles on the door, I called out to him. "Hey, Bucky? Um, do you...do you need any towels, or clothes, or anything?"

The door opened in response, revealing a steam-filled bathroom smelling of my coconut body wash, and...oh.

Bucky was standing in the doorway, nearly naked save for the towel wrapped around his waist, hanging dangerously low on his hips. But the reason I was speechless, that my mouth went dry at the sight of him wasn't because of his lack of clothing, it was the stump of a shoulder that was covered with a black, elastic-looking material.

Scars ran along his skin, particularly raised and pink nearer to his left shoulder. And meeting with his flesh, as if it were forced there, was a shiny metal surface, in the shape of a shoulder.

"I'm good," he replied lowly. He noticed I'm staring at his shoulder, subconsciously shifting so it's further out of my view.

Guilt washed over me in a tidal wave, causing me to duck my head, mumbling, "Okay," and I scurried back to the kitchen.

"Uh, Sam?" I asked, gesturing for him to meet me in the living room. "Can we have a chat?"

My friend raised his eyebrows in confusion but shrugged. "Yeah, okay." When we were out of the earshot of Steve, he looked at me. "What's up?"

I tilted my chin down as if to say, you really don't know? "You failed to mention a rather large detail?" When he didn't say anything, I continued, "the fact that he's missing an arm? And that it was a metal arm?"

"Oh, yeah," he said, "I just thought you saw it last night and didn't say anything about it."

"If I'd seen it last night, you would have heard about it from me," I glared at him. "You don't seem to think that it's a crucial piece of information to share with the person you're entrusting him to?"

Sam shook his head. "No, of course it is, I just...he doesn't like to talk about it, so I wanted you to find out from him. He's not into talking behind someone's back. It's a 1940s thing."

I scrunched my face up and squinted at him. "Um, I'd say it's still a twenty-first-century thing, too, but whatever," I let it slide.

He rolled his eyes. "You're still going to keep him, right? This doesn't change things?"

"Don't talk about him like he's a pet, Sammy, that's rude. But yeah, he can stay. I'd just prefer to know anything else about him that will directly affect me?"

He looked as if he were about to say something, but then shrugged it off. "Nope, not that I can think of," he replied quickly, leaving me with the knowledge that he definitely did have more to say, but chose to keep it to himself.

Whatever, I rolled my eyes inwardly, it's not like I won't have to talk to Bucky anyway. I'll just ask him. Get him to open up.

However long that would take.

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so sorry for the wait, i was out of town on spring break with no internet and now i've got homework again, so it's gonna be a stretch to get chapters up for the coming few weeks. but don't worry, we will get through this together! countdown to the last day of school starts NOW!

published on: april 4, 2018