haven ; 𝐛. 𝐛𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐬 , 𝟏

006. time to go

SIX—TIME TO GO
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"THIS IS INSANE," I breathed as I watched Steve and Sam rushing around the house, grabbing their things from the rooms they'd been staying in for the past few days. In less than five minutes, they had their jackets on, shoes tied and steeled expressions that told me they weren't hesitant about leaving. At all. "Where are you guys gonna go?" I asked, shock still rushing through my veins. The newswoman was still rambling on about the two men standing in front of me.

"...refusing to sign the Sokovia Accords," she said in her detached, matter-of-fact tone that all news anchors have, "the two men and their accomplices, Scott Lang, Clint Barton and Wanda Maximoff—"

Steve made a noise of protest.

"—separated themselves from the CIA and their former allies. In the most recent news, they have managed to break out the world's most dangerous assassin from his prison in Wakanda. James Barnes, also known as the Winter Soldier—"

I flicked my eyes down at Bucky, who had his eyes squeezed shut as if he was trying to shut out the world around him.

"—was last seen fleeing the country with Rogers and Wilson, but his current whereabouts are unknown. In a press conference just two hours ago made by the CIA, the director spoke on behalf of the association when he warned reporters and the American people that 'it wouldn't be far off to assume Barnes is in the company of Rogers and Wilson.'"

"Turn it off," Steve said sharply, startling me. My eyes searched for the remote, and when I found it I launched myself over the couch and grabbed it, frantically pressing the 'off' button.

I opened my mouth to apologize profusely, but the words got stuck in my throat when I saw the despair and embarrassment on Bucky's face. His shoulders were hunched forward and he hid his face from view behind a curtain of hair. He was folding in on himself. I'd seen it many times before, on the features of the dark-skinned man across from me.

The two men standing glanced guiltily at Bucky. "You know what this means, Buck," Steve said softly as if he was letting him down easy. "We have to go."

The room was silent for a moment, but then Bucky snapped his head up and stood abruptly, startling me with the sudden movement. His eyes were ablaze with a blue fire I'd never seen in anyone's eyes before. "I'll get my stuff," he nodded, but Steve stepped forward to lay a hand on his chest, stopping him from moving.

"Not you."

Bucky blinked slowly. "Steve," he warned, raising an eyebrow and flicking his eyes to mine. "We can't afford to involve anyone else in this."

My face burned with the effect of his words, though I understood what he was getting at. When you're so entrenched in your own problems, you have to remember to keep others out of it. Innocent people have no business being involved in those kinds of issues.

But I'm not as innocent as he thinks. I've seen more destruction than he knows, my subconscious whispered.

Sam shook his head. "Elda knows what she's getting into," he said firmly. "You'll be safe if you stay here."

"It's not my safety I'm worried about," he hissed, just loud enough for me to detect. He refused to look at me, his eyes flicking back and forth between Steve and Sam.

Furrowing my eyebrows, I crossed my arms and retorted, "I can take care of myself."

Bucky shifted his gaze to me and I saw that anger, now focused on me. "Don't overestimate yourself," he shot back.

I huffed, frustration aimed directly at him. What right does he have to call me helpless? He doesn't even know me.

That may have been the problem.

Steve raised his arms between us to ease the tension rolling off Bucky and me in waves. "That's enough," he said lowly. "Sam and I have to leave right now, otherwise both of you will be in danger." When I jerked out a nod, he lowered his arms and patted Bucky on the shoulder. "It's for the best," he said as if to convince both of them.

I shot Bucky a warning look that had if you doubt me again I'll tear off your other arm all other it. For a hint of a second, I saw his eyes change from deep anger to something between annoyance and amusement. But before I could get a good look, he blinked and it disappeared.

He turned to talk to Steve in hushed whispers, and when I looked over at Sam, he was nearing me with a sad smile on his face. "I guess it's time to go," he said, shrugging. His lack of emotion on his face, apart from the smile, told me that he was only hiding everything inside, a common process for him to go through before being deported. The familiarity of his detached facial expression tugged at my heartstrings.

"Don't wait another three years to come back," I teased him, but the words fell short as my throat seized up with tears. I hadn't realized how good it felt to have him home these past few days. Now that he was leaving, I was thrust back into the downward spiral of his time in the military.

He grinned. "I promise, it'll only be two and a half this time," he joked, earning a light slap on the arm from me.

Sucked back into the old way of our goodbyes, I kissed my fingertip and tapped the tip of his nose, chuckling as he purposely crossed his eyes, following my movements. It was always our way of saying goodbye, a way to lighten the mood of his leaving. But this time, it only made it worse. "I'm gonna miss you, Sammy," I sighed and pulled him in for a hug. He wrapped his arms around me tightly, and there I was: five years younger, a girl in love with the idea of my best friend since childhood.

Stop it, I scolded my thoughts. You're not doing any good.

When he pulled away to flash me one more smirk, I tried to keep it together. "Don't forget about me, El," he said, pressing a chaste kiss to my forehead. The gesture reminded me of my brother, pulling me into the past again.

I rolled my eyes. "How could I? You're like a pest that knows how to dodge the insecticide."

"Now that," he replied, walking away, "was rude." Steve was waiting at the door for him, and Sam gave him a thumbs-up when he approached. "Let's go get the bastards," he said, nodding firmly.

Steve glanced over at me, where I was trying to hold in the pent-up tears that had built up over three years. He gave me a small smile, mouthing a thank you before he turned to step outside.

The door closed behind them, the click of the doorknob turning into place ringing out into the now silent room. The sound was final, the reality of the situation sinking into my bones. I wouldn't be seeing them for a very long time.

I opened my mouth to say something to Bucky, but I only saw his back as he retreated into the house, leaving me alone in the living room.

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i love sam and elda's friendship, it's so cute :) this is gonna get good really soon you guys, i'm so so so excited!!!!!

buck is being just a bit of a baby right now, but don't worry, we'll sort that all out in the future ;)

published on: april 10, 2018