Dragonfly

Chapter Sixteen: Famous Last Words

The day the massacre would take place-the Fated Day-was a strange day.

I never thought I would be able to feel the difference-just assumed it would sneak up on me like any other day, mundane and uneventful up until the night of the slaughter, but it was different. Almost like living in a dream. Maybe it was because this was one of the most predominant scenes in flashbacks and its execution was always so poignant that it just stuck in my head and didn't let go, stamped on my brain forever. It was like everything was overlaying that memory, playing out like a recording. Like déjà vu. Even my morning meal with Satoshi and Emiko felt like something I'd done before, even though there was no way I could have known exactly what they'd been doing on this day, not to mention what I'd been doing, since I wasn't even there in the first place.

But it was familiar. It was something that was already carved out, something I knew, like wearing a pair of old, cozy shoes. It was like my steps were predetermined. Like my free will was snatched away, even though I knew I was controlling what I did.

Maybe it was because I'd thought about the day so much, so often, over the past fifteen years, combining it with scenes from the series, that I'd somehow imagined a thousand possible scenarios that just coincided with what was happening in real time.

But, because I knew this was the day, I could prepare myself. Say my last words to my family. And, as fate would have it, we were all present that morning to eat breakfast together-something that barely happened once a week, before. It was like the world was giving me a chance to say goodbye to the family that had raised me in this lifetime.

"Hey, uh," I coughed a little awkwardly as I pushed the food around on my plate, not having an appetite because my nerves were stretched thin and my stomach was so tense I probably would have thrown up whatever I ate that day. I didn't know where to begin. How was I supposed to go about saying my final words to the people who were my mom and dad? But this was my only chance. I wouldn't see Satoshi again until the evening or nighttime because of his schedule-he would never make it back home, where I planned to stay until the end. Emiko might come back after her daily rounds and visits with our neighbors, but that wasn't a certainty. Besides, I wanted to tell them together.

"Is something wrong, Rika? You haven't touched your food," Emiko observed after taking a sip of her tea.

"You should eat to keep your strength up." Satoshi's words were less warm than Emiko's and more matter-of-fact, but at least it showed he still cared. Even if I was difficult and unruly, rebellious and probably never made their life the easiest thing to live.

I set down my chopsticks and smiled a little, glancing down at my lap. "No, I'm just not really hungry. And I know." I glanced up curiously, quickly, to see that their eyes were set on me, both reflecting slight worry. "I'm just-I've been thinkin' about it for a while, and I know I've been a handful these past few years. Really troublesome and bratty and kinda awful. Selfish. But you two stuck by me no matter what and did your best with me, and I just want to let you know I appreciate that. And, well, uh, sorry for everything I did. I'll try to be a better daughter from now on." I used the edge of the table to rise to my feet and made my way towards the hall, stopping just in the doorway but not looking back at them to see what their expressions looked like. Probably surprised. Suspicious, because I never said things like that and opened my heart so candidly. I just fought and stayed stubborn until the end. But, well, I had to finish with some dramatic flair, too, now that I'd already begun. "Thanks for everything, Mom. Dad. I love you both."

I didn't wait for them to reply. It was supposed to be a final farewell, and I already knew they both loved me. Reciprocating the words weren't necessary.

That, and I just wanted to come off as really cool, just once in my life.

But, of course, Emiko had to go and ruin it all for me by grabbing me in a hug from behind and pulling me back into the dining area, sounding all maudlin and emotional. "Rika! Jeez, what's gotten into you, saying things like that? Are you finally mature? Responsible? Satoshi, is this really our daughter?!"