Dragonfly

Extra-Shisui

The first time Shisui began to realize his feelings for Rika was all due to a passing comment made by Itachi.

"Shisui, what does a crush feel like?"

"A-a what?" He stumbled. If not because those words in that very order just came out of his best friend's mouth, but because-well, who was he kidding? That was exactly why it caught him so off guard. But after the initial shock wore off, he couldn't pass up the opportunity to tease the younger boy. "Why, got someone you like, Itachi?"

"No; I was only curious. I've heard classmates and teammates discuss it before." Itachi ignored the way his friend waggled his eyebrows in a comically suggestive way as he dropped an amiable arm across his shoulders. Didn't even flinch or stammer, always one to remain cool. "Why is it called a 'crush,' exactly?"

For all of his genius, Itachi sure could be dense at times.

Shisui sighed and stepped away, crossing his arms and coming to a stop while Itachi walked a few more paces along the trail to the training grounds before stopping as well. He scratched at his head, then, and squeezed one eye shut as he glanced out into the distance and tried to form an appropriate response. Itachi had obviously asked him this in confidence, seeking advice, since he was the older of the pair and thus logically more experienced in these matters. Supposedly. He couldn't let his friend down with some lame answer.

But the more he thought about it, the more a familiar face took shape in his mind. A cute, impish grin that promised nothing short of shenanigans that struck both fear and worry into his heart, but also a certain fondness. A mop of dark, wild hair that was a weird mix between spiky and wavy that couldn't be mistaken in a crowd, and-a glare. A pout. Furrowed eyebrows and hands set firmly on hips, a sharp jab to the chest with an index finger, hurt feelings... all of it led to an inexplicable twinge in his heart that he absentmindedly raised his hand to soothe.

"Uh...because it hurts," he began, not really sure where his answer was going or what he was trying to convey, but not knowing how else to put it; feeling an underlying regret from a recent conversation with a certain girl that ended worse than he possibly could have imagined that spurred on his answer. "It's like, when someone you like being around, a lot, suddenly stops talking to you and you don't know what to do about it or how to make things right again, but you want to, because you don't want that person to stay mad at you. It hurts not talking to them like normal and you just want things to go back to how they were. So it kind of...crushes...you until things are better." He continued looking out into the distance, in the direction where the Uchiha district lay on the village's outskirts, and a certain face stuck in his mind once again. He wondered what she was doing right about now-aside from causing mayhem, anyway.

"I see. I guess that makes sense," Itachi nodded thoughtfully, before glancing at his friend with a knowing look and half-teasing half-smile. "So, who do you have a crush on?"

"Wh-what? Me?" The older boy's head snapped back towards his friend, eyebrows arched in surprise. Whatever he'd been thinking about with that pensive, dreamy look on his face was gone; a lost thought, replaced with a sheepish smile. "I don't have a crush on anyone. It's just," he paused, sighing. "I kind of got into a fight with Rika. Remember when I told you I was gonna show her my Sharingan?"

"And remember that I told you it was a bad idea?"

Shisui laughed nervously. "Well-yeah. But I showed her, and...I don't know, things just turned bad fast and some pretty harsh things were said. I didn't mean it-not really, but...I don't know how to say it."

"Just apologize." Itachi shrugged. It seemed a simple enough answer to him. Shisui was probably making it harder than it was-Rika wasn't the type to refuse an apology. Speaking of Rika, it was clear as daylight that Shisui was fretting over this because he liked her. And it wasn't just something made apparent by this conversation-Shisui always had something to say about the girl, and if he didn't know better, he'd say talking about her was one of his favorite topics. "If you like her that much, apologize."

"If I-" Shisui's face reddened. Maybe it was true. Maybe he did like her. If he didn't, why did being at odds with her twist up his heart so much? "Yeah," he agreed, masking his blush with a goofy grin. "Yeah, you're right. Thanks, Itachi."

Somehow, even though he was supposed to explain what a crush was, he'd been the one to get advice.

The second time Shisui began to realize his feelings for Rika was thanks to a near-death mission that had him rattled. It was silly, it was stupid, it was completely irrational, but-the only thought that had been on his mind when he'd almost been killed was that he wanted to see Rika again. It wasn't that he was on the verge of failing a mission, on the brink of letting his village down...it was that he wanted to return alive to see that girl.

That was exactly what he aimed to do the moment he returned home.

But when he found her, he couldn't quite bring himself to approach her.

She wasn't alone.

She was with Sasuke-had him perched on her shoulders as they wandered through Konoha's shopping district. Probably just picked him up from the Academy and decided to buy him something nice, judging by the pastry bag she held in one arm. The two got along well; they were close, almost like siblings. Even with her wild personality, she was good with kids.

He didn't want to interrupt their bonding. He was content just watching from afar-watching her smile and laugh at something Sasuke said as he pointed at something they passed. She was happy, now. There wasn't that brief, misplaced, far-off look in her eyes that sometimes flickered by-that faint sadness she sometimes looked at him with, like she knew something he didn't, or that she understood something more than he expected. She was like that, sometimes. Rowdy and foolish, but sharp. She understood a lot of things and had more intelligence than she let on, he knew.

A flash of light caught his eye-something in her hair caught the sunlight and shimmered.

With a jolt of his heart, he realized it was the hairpin he'd given her when they were younger. Not much younger, but at times, working as a shinobi, life felt so stretched out and just...long. It had been maybe a year and a half, two years, since he'd given her that gift. And she still wore it.

It was probably then...no, it was definitely then, when he realized the true extent of his feelings for her.