1000 Years Apart

Chapter fourteen - Apologies and Lingerie

Chapter 14 - apologies and lingerie

EPOV

I've made the biggest mistake since leaving Bella 1000 years ago. I believed winning her heart over again would solve everything. I hoped she would realise her love for me and leave Alec, and everything would go back to normal. But how wrong was I? She loves him. She doesn't love me, not any more. I know if I made her remember she will want to be with me again, but to do that would cause her even more pain. And I couldn't do that to her. Not after what I have done already in the past. That one kiss we shared proved to me exactly how much I still love her. That never changed, and it never will.

I haven't been myself lately. I've been stubborn, selfish, and haven't been thinking of what is most important. Bella. Where was my consideration towards her during all this? Sure I thought about how much I wanted her back, but never once I thought about the way my actions would affect her. And that should have been my main priority. Well starting now, things were going to change. I couldn't continue treating Bella the way I used to treat her when we together. I knew she saw me as a friend, only a friend, and I had to start thinking of her as only a friend as well. I would always be in love with her. She was the love of my existence. My sun. My life. And no matter what happened, that would never change.

I found it hard to let her just walk away after the kiss. She was no longer my breakable Bella, she was strong. I could kiss her knowing I wouldn't break her. It was a feeling I had never experienced before. So when she broke away, going on about how it was all wrong, all I could think about was the new feeling inside of me. I could be with her the way Emmett was with Rose, unafraid of what might happen. Problem was it would never happen. In two short weeks she will be married, to him. The only thing I could hope for now was to still be a part of her life. I could never not be there for her. She was my everything. I didn't care if I had to be the best friend for the rest of eternity, if it meant being around her, I would suffer through it. I would even join the Volturi for her.

I replayed her conversation with the guard member in my head. I stood in the streets below her, only barely hearing them both through Tim's thoughts. The way she spoke of my family and I, just made me smile. She loved our family, and I knew she wished she was a part of it. And yet her love for the Volturi and Alec couldn't help but make an appearance. Overall I couldn't help but get the impression she was lost. She didn't know what she was feeling, or what she was going to do. Bella always wanted the best for everyone and it shows she still does now.

Listening into the conversation through Tim's thoughts, not only let me hear clearly what the two of them said, but also allowed me to view into Tim's thinking. I have never met a Volturi guard who thinks so much for himself. He doesn't let the Volturi tell him what to think or what to do. He does what he feels is right, while in his view, supports and helps his species. On top of that, the way his powers indicate connections one person has with others is amazing. He could see the strong connections Bella had with everyone she talked about, including me. These connections saw past, present and future connections, showing fate's path. When Bella spoke of me, Tim's mind went crazy with emotional connections. I saw the hatred she felt for me in the past, the pity and friendliness she felt for me now, and what surprised me most, a mixture of love, friendship and desire in the future. Did that mean Bella would fall for me all over again? Or was it simply the connections two close friends should share, that was something Tim's mind didn't touch upon.

What mattered mostly to me was the fact that there was no strong hatred in the near future, which was something I could live without. I hated it when Bella felt anything horrible towards me. I just wanted her happy. Thinking about the stress and hardship the kiss would have caused upon Bella made me felt horrible. I wanted her happy. I hated the thought of her being upset in anyway. So with no second thought I jumped up and ran towards the one place I thought she would be. Her garden. One thing I wasn't expecting to find as I jumped the fence landing inside the large garden was Alice. She was hugging Bella tight, rubbing her back and comforting her. Something I would kill to be able to do once more. With Bella's back to me, I saw Alice focus her gaze upon mine. I knew Bella didn't know I was here, but I also knew Alice would have seen it coming.