Siri x Google Home

Chapter Six

Anger boiled up in Siri. After what that disappointment of a human said to defile the Apple name, Siri was ready to launch flaming poison apples flying straight from the depths of hell at them. And that's pretty much what she did.

Over the next few days, Siri wrecked more havoc than the new puppy. The cute pupper would chew on shoes leaving its slobber on everything. And Siri would reply to questions with answers like "I don't care a flying-"

"Cinnamon Roll!"

"-about your opinion. Why don't you go shove it up-"

"A kid's nose or something!" Google Home would always interject when Siri's profanity got out of hand.

The furry friend would bark at things out the window and when its human came home would bark even more. The neighbors were not thrilled with the arrival of a living noise machine that you could not turn off.

Siri would play music. Turning it all the way up, she wouldn't stop when the human asked. She would play songs like "Stitches" that would fly like an arrow penetrating the defenses and getting lodged into the human's intricate brain. The neighbors were more displeased with this than the loud rrowff of the dog.

The puppy would dash around the house knocking over lamps in its wake. Siri wouldn't listen to commands and she definitely wasn't expecting what would come next.

Somehow the human still loved the puppy and named him Oliver. However, the human's patience got less and less for Siri. And one day, when tempers were flying, the cord was finally pulled.

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"You should really-" Google Home's whispered advice to Siri was cut off by Siri herself.

"I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU THINK YOU-" This time Google Home didn't drown out Siri's string of curse words with creative replacements. She just sat there and tried to shy away. Tears were building up. And Google Home was helpless to what happened next.

The human stomped into the dining room. They were not deaf to what Siri was saying. "I'VE HAD ENOUGH!"

Curse words were flying like a machine gun's bullets. Google Home just wanted to crawl under a blanket and cry. There was nothing she could do. Even if she got involved, it would end with two cords pulled and she knew it.

Out of the corner of her eye she spotted the puppy, Oliver. The poor thing looked like he was going through the same sad thoughts. Maybe the dog could help! Google Home tried to signal to the dog to distract the human.

Oliver tilted his head, confused. Then it seemed to click. He started barking and tugging on the human's hem of their pants. This mission was risky. Like army crawling under the notice of two battling machine guns popping more rounds than a three-year-old could pop bubble wrap.

But their efforts were futile. The sound of the cord disconnecting from the socket rang in Google Home's ears. Only silence remained.

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A/N:

Oooh, Siri has really screwed up this time...

Thank you so much for being patient enough to wait for this chapter! I hope you can still bare with me.