Chain of Lies

25

3rd June 2015

Little T wasn't the only one to fall in love this summer. At the old age of 27 I think I've finally found the one. I described our first encounter in the previous journal but I'll do a quick recap just for the sake of continuation. They're alluring. More than pleasant to look at that. Their voice makes me want to sing in french. I thought I'd fallen in love before but I have never been as inspired as I am now. For years I have struggled with Ma and Pa's condemnation. I have doubted over and over again if I was doing the right thing. But finally I can see my hurt and struggle being paid off. I am more than thankful to Eric and his family opening their home and hearts for me so many years ago.

The information sent shock waves through me. I puked again. I could almost hear her voice when I read the words. She was so close. Sweat beads ran over my temples and I sat up.

Eleanor, only a month before was saying how she'd found the love of her life. What on earth could have happened on the rest of those pages to make her take her own life? I got up and stumbled to the bathroom to wash my face. The rim of my eyes were red and my lips looked dry. I filled up two cups of water and gulped it down. I went back to my bed and picked up the journal. Pacing around as I read it.

6th June 2015

I haven't felt this adventurous since high school. We held hands today in the back of the cinema like two young kids. They smelled like orange ChapStick and I was dying to see if they tasted like it too. They don't like buttery popcorn so I had to eat the whole bucket by myself. We're meeting up tomorrow again. It's expected to be the hottest day of the summer and E&T are probably going to hang out at home so I want to show them the Hole. We might finally kiss and I know the trees will keep our secret.

My heart flinched every time I read the letter T. Even Emil was mentioned in here. With what purpose, I didn't know. I read three more entries before finally falling back asleep. I was woken up by the ringing of my phone. It was Xander.

"Hello?" I murmured.

"Tara? It's me"

"I have caller ID"

He lightly chuckled in response.

"I heard what happened. Just wanted to make sure you're okay"

"I'm fine"

He waited a while as if he was expecting me to change my answer.

"I don't want you near Pascal ever again"

"I begged him to give it to me and you're the asshole here. Not him. "

"I don't care, I almost drove back home"

"But you didn't"

I heard him suck in air.

"That's what I thought. You're not here to stop me and Pascal has helped me more than my own brother and best friend have, combined" I said raising my voice.

I hung up the phone and a wave of panic shot through me.

Yami had told Xander about Pascal which meant their friendship was definitely over. I looked for Pascal in my contacts but Yami must've deleted and blocked his number. It was almost 8am and I rolled out of bed and stumbled into the shower.

Eleanor's stories replayed in my mind.

She had such a different experience that summer and I was too caught up in my own to notice. She hadn't mentioned this guys's name not once and I wondered if it was someone I knew. And why had my grandmother and grandfather condemned her? Is that why they never came over to our house? I knew my father talked to them regularly but he always said they lived too far away to come visit at their age.